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Author Topic: What a pile of w*nk!  (Read 11293 times)
Ruptured Duck Motorsport
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« on: July 17, 2003, 10:56:38 am »

It's official: Masturbating good for men's health

LONDON (Reuters) - Frequent masturbation, particularly in the 20s, helps prevent prostate cancer later in life, according to new research.

Australian scientists have shown that the more men masturbate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop the disease that kills more than half a million men each year.

They suspect that frequent ejaculation has a protective effect against the cancer because it prevents dangerous carcinogens from building up in the gland.

"The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them," Graham Giles, of the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

In a survey of 1,079 prostate cancer patients and 1,259 healthy men, Giles and his team discovered that men who ejaculated more than five times a week in their 20s were a third less likely to develop an aggressive form of the disease.

The findings contradict previous studies which suggested that having a variety of partners or frequent sexual activity could increase the risk of prostate cancer by 40 percent.

But Giles said the earlier research concentrated on intercourse, whereas his study focused on masturbation. Infections caused by sexual activity could account for the different findings.

"Men have many ways of using their prostate which don't involve women or other men," he added
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GeeBee
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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2003, 11:12:03 am »

" "Men have many ways of using their prostate which don't involve women or other men," he added "

How many for God's sake???

What company used to ask punters to send in different uses for their product? Is this going to be the same?

"1001 Things to do with a Prostate"

Just a (slightly worrying) thought.

GeeBee
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2003, 12:09:29 pm »

Dreamracer,

Where do you unearth all this rubbish? From the same skip in France as the historic photos?

What a man chooses to do with his prostrate gland is surely his own affair. And everything these days is prostate this and prostate that. We all seem to have forgotten about the only slightly less amusing Cowpers gland.
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« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2003, 04:09:15 pm »

You're obviously not a Times reader Andy, this was Front Page News.

There were five main stories on their front page today. Top story was the marine who'd run off with a 12 year old girl, then under that Rapes Soar by a Quarter, under that the prostate story. Then to the right "Pick one of four hospitals for your surgery". Fits well with the prostate story. Joined up thinking (of a fashion) so far...

Then, totally out of the blue, We're Still At War, says US General.

What's the link there, I hear you ask? I reckon they're subtly suggesting the guy's a w**k*r!
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2003, 04:24:11 pm »

Thankfully they don't put this sort of disgraceful gratuitous filth in the Telegraph old boy.

Other than your suggestion re the guy being a w**k*r, I cannot think of any link. But then again I cannot think of any link, however tenuous, between this story and Le Mans, unless, did a Studebaker ever race at Le Mans?

BTW, my mate Chris who comes to Le Mans has no risk of ever catching cancer of the giblets, as he is a "three a day" man. Following our stay on MB this year, he now claims to have done it in a toilet on every campsite on the curcuit, except Bleu, somewhat surprisingly given its name and Beausejour which is too far to walk apparently.
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jpchenet
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« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2003, 06:09:23 pm »

Following our stay on MB this year, he now claims to have done it in a toilet on every campsite on the curcuit, except Bleu, somewhat surprisingly given its name and Beausejour which is too far to walk apparently.

At least he should walk back quicker having lightened his load!!   Wink
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Ruptured Duck Motorsport
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« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2003, 07:41:55 pm »

Beausejour which is too far to walk apparently.

My god, I am pleased to have been in Beausejour this year then!
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BigH
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2003, 07:51:18 pm »

Blimey Andy,
After four days with Chris in MB I'm surprised the Comma could muster any traction when it came to leaving time.
It would seem prostate cancer can be crossed off his list of things to worry about, but maybe he should add 'severe chafing'. Mind you, he must have a foreskin like saddle leather by now.
H
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2003, 11:22:54 am »

Chris advises me the shaft of his "tool" is now moulded to the shape of his hand, rather like the soft plastic grip on a bike handlebar. Apparently if anyone else touches it, and one would hope he is referring to a female other person, it doesnt feel quite right. And his right arm has the physique of a lobsters claw.

He claims that when he was at Uni, he entered a cometition and did it fourteen times in 24 hours. It seems on the last few go's, only a small gust of strange smelling gas and some white powder were emitted.

Chris wears glasses and has shares in Kleenex.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2003, 12:05:16 pm by Andy Zarse » Logged

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jpchenet
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« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2003, 12:47:03 pm »



Chris wears glasses and has shares in Kleenex.

Father walks into the bathroom one night and catches his son pulling one of in the bath.
Father:   "Don't w*nk in the bath son, it makes your ears go red"
Son:       "Don't be silly dad, people say w*nking makes you go blind, but it doesn't make your ears go red!"
Father:   "It bl**dy well does if you do it in my bath!!!"  SLAP!!
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Ruptured Duck Motorsport
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« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2003, 12:53:55 pm »

You recall that tale very well sir!  Grin The incident obviously stuck in your mind  Shocked Wink


Father walks into the bathroom one night and catches his son pulling one of in the bath.
Father:   "Don't w*nk in the bath son, it makes your ears go red"
Son:       "Don't be silly dad, people say w*nking makes you go blind, but it doesn't make your ears go red!"
Father:   "It bl**dy well does if you do it in my bath!!!"  SLAP!!

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Steve Pyro
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« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2003, 10:05:05 pm »

He claims that when he was at Uni, he entered a cometition and did it fourteen times in 24 hours. It seems on the last few go's, only a small gust of strange smelling gas and some white powder were emitted.Chris wears glasses and has shares in Kleenex.

Help, I've just pissed myself laughing and ruptured my prostate.  Embarrassed
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BryanC
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« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2003, 10:55:25 pm »

To quote Viz, also known as-

'Working from home' or 'relaxing in a gentlemenly manner'

Regards

Bryan C
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jpchenet
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« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2003, 10:33:12 am »

Or a date with Mrs thumb and her four beautiful daughters!!  Wink
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Pidgeon
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« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2003, 06:34:18 pm »



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