Title: New European Language.
Post by: Nordic on February 11, 2004, 03:09:01 pm
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than
German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly this
will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words
like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the
horibl
mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" and "v."
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vill hav a reil sensibl riten style.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze
world.
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than
German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly this
will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words
like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the
horibl
mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" and "v."
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vill hav a reil sensibl riten style.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze
world.
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: Canada Phil on February 12, 2004, 06:38:23 am
Hi Nordic, Not sure how much support the new English will get outside of Europe.
Kanada Fil
Kanada Fil
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: Ruptured Duck Motorsport on February 12, 2004, 11:17:23 am
great!
;D
;D
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: Robbo SPS on February 12, 2004, 01:05:55 pm
:D
FIL
FIL
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: rcutler on February 12, 2004, 01:12:49 pm
Does it replace the language named after one of our members?
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: gibberish on February 12, 2004, 02:08:52 pm
Does it replace the language named after one of our members?
No you cheeky rat. It does NOT ;)
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: Andy Zarse on February 12, 2004, 02:10:14 pm
What? Nordic? ;D
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: gibberish on February 12, 2004, 03:00:47 pm
What? Nordic? ;D
Ahh........didn't think of that one ::)
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: smokie on February 13, 2004, 12:39:17 am
Does it replace the language named after one of our members?
My member doesn't have a name...
Title: Re:New European Language.
Post by: gibberish on February 13, 2004, 10:23:01 am
My member doesn't have a name...
Mines called Percy ;)
