Club Arnage

Bloody great black Hummvee estate thing just went past the office......................ugly brute :-/

Sorry, just had to say that ::)

I understand... bloody gross things.  Make so big and ugly so the septics know it is theirs so as to reduce the risk of friendly fire  ;D

That Hummer has been parked up in shoe lane for the last few months. I was amazed to see one in London. I also saw the 50 foot streached humvee that featured in FHM. White with space for 50 people at least!!

What sort of blithering idiot would do such a thing?

See you in half an hour Rick.  I might be getting an early start.  :)  :)

The H2 is the quintessential realtor's car in this country.  There's loads of them.  I agree, they're pants.
My neighbor has one and can't fit it in his garage for Christ's sake.

They're usually seen rumbling across the center divide on most suburban roads with tiny little 40 year old housewives with breast implants peering through the steering wheel.

The original Hummers are more of an NFL linebacker ride here in the US.
That, or they're in radio station or Outback Steakhouse livery.

God, they're pointless....

Dave, you are a refreshingly honest chap.  Well done sir!

Hummer? - Ugly?
You want ugly?
Check out my Dodge Ram, Truckosaurus - now that's ugly!
It could pull a house down - but has the kind of face only it's mother could love.

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Matt             that's 'orrible!

It may have face only a mother could love, but it kept our asses high & dry.  Throw some lawn chairs in the back and makes a good viewing platform as well.

I've heard the Hummer has a turning circle about 2 miles wide. With that in mind, I would love to see the stretch limo version trying to turn round in the street !

Ugger that is ugly Matt, and you drive it? So I wounder why you find the "refreshingly defferent" Morgan a bit of a challenge to look at ;)

Needs must, Bobblehat. If I've got tons of sh*t to haul around, of course I drive it. I freely admit that it is a P.O.S. so I'm not really sure what your point is?
For the record, I suspect that Truckosaurus is far more technically advanced than a Morgan Aero 8!  

This is going to get confusing matt! Truckosarus is perfectly apt name, we hav one of those bumbling around the lanes of north bucks and mighty silly it looks to! I dont know about being more techically advanced than the Morgan Areo - the motors a BMW V8 - oh yes it does have ash frame in it somewere "its tradition". But I do know that it goes like stink, fantastic to drive and and possibly the best bit is when your in it you dont have to look at the out side! Yes I agree its a boss eyed and ugly. ;D

Hey Gib!!!

Was the registration No.......CA51NO X

Pah! Mere bagatelle.
Truckosaurus has a 383ci Mopar wedge-head V8, 300bhp, 290lb/ft
hi/lo ratio selectable 2/4x4, power everything - and a gun-rack.
It doesn't go like stink, it has to be said. I admit that it concedes a little to the Morgan in kerb weight - but, on the other hand, you can't get a forklift pallet of electric motors in the back of an Aero 8
I'm really not at all sure where I'm going with all this - I'm rather bored this afternoon.

Yep I guess a pallet of electric motors would do no good for a morgans suspension.

Just like my daily driver an LDV Cub, its slow, noisy, but I can carry nigh on  a ton of wine in the back, and I would much prefer to be in somthing smaller and faster. BTW the LDV Cub is not as ugly as yours, just bland, wich is probly worse!  ;)

Lets face it, you can't buy style - at least if it comes from the USA ! :D :D
Oh dear, now I'm worried that the CIA will  get MI5 to bug my phone for revealing a State secret !! ;D

Oh dear, you've blown it now Dryhen

Matt,
Guess he hasn't seen the new Ford GT yet.  They've got one at the Cincinnati Auto Expo this weekend....The Ferrari Hunter is back!

Quite so, John - the Ford GT is very spectacular - they had a bunch of 'em at the 500.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bobblehat thinks an old landrover is prettier than a Dodge Ram - and that may be so. American automotive design is somewhat different than European and Japanese styling. Current retro designs like the Ford GT and latest Mustang and current T'Bird have gone down a storm here. I also like the upcoming Dodge Magnum, C6 Vette and the recently launched Chevy SS pick-up. Adventurous designs like these are not to everyones taste - but they are just that - adventurous.
A lot, but by no means all Euro/Nippon stying is a bit safe and predictable. Personally, I think that BMW's new 5 and 7 series cars are hideous, but some people obviously love them.
It seems to me that everyone agrees that the H2 is a slab-sided, pig ugly, too big outside, too small inside, pointless soccer-mom-obile. Funny thing is GM can't build enough of 'em. Go figure that one out.
My absolute favorite American designer is, of course, Victoria's Secret.
(though I do find that their halter tops pinch a bit).
 

If you ever feel the weight of the wine is weighing you down Bobblehat you can always drop some off at my place!!!!   ;) ;D

I was tracking with you right up to the Chevy SS pick-up there dude.  WTF?
It's 'orrible!

Matt & Dave H -

OK, OK, I'll come quietly !  But when are Ford going to do something serious with the GT, like put it up against Ferrari ? You're right about the BMW - looks like it was styled by the same guy as the late (unlamented)Ford Scorpio - a five year old could do better ........

Sorry Wishy, didn't catch it.

My vote for the most hideous thing on wheels is the Honda Element, what the f**k are they thinking?  I followed one the other day and it looks like a box with wheels.  At least the Hummer looks remotely menacing.  Of course the Pontaic Aztec wins the lifetime achievement award for ugly but since they only sold about six of them, it went out of production as fast as it came in.
John

The Chevy SSR pick-up demonstrates some original thinking and edgey, individual design - elements that are sadly lacking in most new offerings. The fact that it ever made it into production is encouraging. It's too expensive and too quirky to be a major success, I suspect and will probably fade away like the Plymouth Prowler - but at least it's fresh and a little daring and motor manufacturers who are prepared to take risks with design occasionally deliver something really good and very different from the mainstream, boring sh*t - Audi TT being a case in point.

Stop inhaling paint.

A vehicle that touts the benefits of a pick-up, roadster and sports car and delivers pretty much on none of them can't be described as edgy or encouraging.  Just pooh.

I saw an embarrassing auto magazine show on Speed or ESPN the other day with Johnny O'Connell reading his Cheverolet script about how wonderful it was - bah!

Yes, of course it is.

Not.

Cart springs, (circa sixteenth century), seperate ladder chassis, solid rear axle, rear drum brakes, outdated pushrod V8, interior plactics whose texture and quality is found more usually on a 1980's Amstrad stereo, ride quality akin to a Ford Econoline van (with build quality to match) and all screwed together by people waiting for their lay off notices. Oh yes, so much more advanced than a hand crafted, high tech extruded alloy and bonded composite tub,   (even if there is a little ash in there for cosmetic and old times sake purposes), twin wishbone racing type suspension, fully tricked BMW DOHC V8, hand stiched laser cut leather interior and assembled by some of the worlds finest craftsmen and women.

Frankly I think the Commer is more advanced than the average US built pick up truck and I've been in more than a few I can tell you. Jimmy Jeep, Chevvy,  "Built tough" Ford(alledgedly). The Japs are gonna skin em alive.

Look here, half-pint, when I want your worthless f**k*ng opinion I'll ask for it, right?
Respect your elders, you little bastard. If you try and publicly humiliate me again, I'll stomp your little whiney ass into the dirt - and don't think I won't.
Cheeky little f**k*r!

Sorry. I take it all back. And I'm lying pointing west, prostrate and grovelling in humiliation.

Forgive me, while I reiterate. I freely admit that my Dodge Ram is a piece of sh*t. How many more times do I have to say it?
I also believe that The Morgan Aero 8 is highly crap also. But then, I have high standards and a modicum of good taste. It is an overpriced kit car, - that suffers from a crude attempt to modernise it by grafting a silly, bulbous new front to a 1940's rear and installing a soft german V8 outputting less than a chipped Impreza. It is an offensive piss-take of a car.

As for the Japs taking over the US truck market - not in yours and my lifetime Andy.  

My earlier message was aimed at my little brother - I would never be so threatening to someone whose acquiantance I had yet to share the pleasure of.  

That sounds like a description of my kit car....
Hang on......

cart springs.....NO, coil
separate ladder chassis....YES
solid rear axle....NO, Jag IRS
rear drum brakes....NO, discs
outdated pushrod V8....YES, YES YES - that's the best bit  ;D

Thanks Matt. Next time you come through Gatwick I'll take you for a kebab in Crawley. And leave you there! ;)  (see Teeshirt thread above).

Right that's it.

Ever since you left me out in the car while you swilled the afternoon away in a pub aged 6 with two bags of crisps and a bottle of Vimto, I've been waiting for this moment.

You're a sell-out - an Americanized gun toting, Chevy/Dodge rumbling sell-out.  Try realizing that there's another engine configuration other than V8!

Have you told everyone about your George W. poster in your living room?

[quote author=Dave H
Right that's it.

Ever since you left me out in the car while you swilled the afternoon away in a pub aged 6 with two bags of crisps and a bottle of Vimto, I've been waiting for this moment.

You're a sell-out - an Americanized gun toting, Chevy/Dodge rumbling sell-out.  Try realizing that there's another engine configuration other than V8!

Have you told everyone about your George W. poster in your living room?

OK, so that's how you want to play it, eh? Firstly you weren't 6. You were at least 12.
Secondly, I happily admit that I am conservitive/republican (though with a small c/r). Rather that than a lily-livered, tree-hugging liberal like yourself.
.....and while we're at it, remember your Action Man with eagle eyes and gripping hands that developed a bit of a facial abnormality? It was me that melted his head. Ha ha ha - f**k you!!  

Ah, brotherly love !

Makes me feel glad I was an only child.

Great fun to watch, lads - keep up the entertainment  :) :)

I'm not quite sure what it is that I have said or done to offend you so, Andy. Your opinions and thoughts have always been held in high regard by me, despite your often confrontational and sarcastic tone.
I am reasonably familiar with Crawley and environs. I had the deep misfortune to have to reside in Sussex for a couple of years during the mid 80's - and I doubt that it has improved much. However - having managed to survive life in Hunslet, I'm sure I gave a good account of myself in Southern-Softy-Land.
If I have caused you distress, annoyance or discord, I sincerely apologize and hope that you can find it within yourself to forgive my indiscretion.
I will now publicly capitulate and confess that The Morgan Aero 8 is indeed my dream car and I've got a little diecast model of one on my computer, that I gaze at in wonder and only hope that one day - one fine day, I might be worthy enough to own one. We can all have dreams, can't we.....?

Excellent, so that's another £25 then!?!?   ;D ;D ;D ;D

Now who's being a sarky fooker? Actually, in all your opinions I think you tell the truth Matt and it is to be respected.

However, one wonders if your apparent hatred of the Morgan effort at LM is less to do with your lack of respect of it in engineering or styling terms and more to do with you being a tight arsed northerner who cannot bring himself to stick his hand in his pocket to help a good cause.  ;D

I have some northern relatives. My mum tells a story of going to visit them and being asked to butter the bread at teatime. She was roundly told off for putting too much butter on the slices and the mean miserly bas tards got a knife and scaped it off and but it back in the dish.  :o ;D

Joking aside, to tell the truth, I think the Morgan looks sh it too! I wouldn't have one if you paid me.

Can't wait for the Harper family tag-team sand and/or mud wrestling match at Sebring. Maybe we can recruit some of the Hawaiian Tropic girls to join in.  After all the dust has settled, we can get pissed, go down to the hairpin and hurl abuse at the Morgan every time it goes by.
John

You Bastard!
I bet you're the f**k*r who stuck paper cocks on all my teddy bears too.

Andy - you've nailed Matt in a nutshell - he's a tight fisted git - always got his nose in his pint when it comes time to getting a round in.

And this "Arrr'm frum oopt' Narth" accent crap is a load of bollocks.  He grew up in Hastings!

I can understand why you might think that.
I don't hate the Morgan Le Mans effort - I don't hate the car. I think that the Morgan effort should be funded by Morgan.
You can bet your mortgage that, if by some bizarre miracle, the car won it's class, those cheapskates in-breds in Malvern would be all over it.
What it all boils down to, is that if you can't really afford to run this race, what kind of chance do you have of winning? If the answer is "No chance" and you're just doing it for the pleasure and achievement of participation, then why the hell should you and I pay for that? Someone else's shits and giggles. We've already paid to get in the place and all the costs associated with that element.
I feel the same about the Racing for Holland concept, I have to admit.
Fan loyalty and interest is pivotal in the success and growth of motorsport - I think that asking the fans for hand-outs is taking advantage of that loyalty.
Entering the 24 Hours of Le Mans on a shoestring budget is pointless - entering and asking your fans to provide the shoestring budget is insulting.

What the f**k language is that, Romulan?
That's the last time I stick up for you, when you get your mardy little arse in a jam, you ungrateful little sh*t.
I always stand my share in the pub - I just refuse to waste hard earned money on your banana daquaries and all the other limp-wristed fag drinks you sip, you f**k*ng gay boy.

....and you can stay out of it - Cincinnati Kid!

That's it!
I'm pulling for the Prodrive 550's...
On second thought, I'll need a place to sleep...Go Vette's