I think I posted something on these lines last year and my attitude has since hardened. I absolutely hate Christmas and always have. Except when I was a kid obviously. And here's why I find the whole thing so unpalatable, in no particular order:
Goodwill to all men my arse; drunken people vomitting and vandalising the council xmas tree; mindless violence means the streets are littered with the detritus of excess; cubes of broken bus stop glass litter the pavements; living for a week on a diet consisting on reheated dried out turkey, putrid sausage rolls, gone-off gravy, stale bread and burnt sprouts; getting a belt off the dodgy fairy lights; the smell of pissy old people; the sickening waste of food when so many people in the world go without; false joviality; cards from people you wished would just sod off and stay sodded off; next door's spoiled brats arguing and hitting each other; you can't get to the bar in the local pub cos it's clogged up with idiots you never see in there the other 360 days of the year, f**k them; the golf club's shut; the mindboggling expense of the whole sorry episode; the naked commercialism of the retailers and the consumers walking blindly into their nasty little shops to buy stuff made by child labour in the third world; waking up on Xmas day with the great new taste of stomach acid in the throat and feeling as bloated as a dead cow, getting so monstrously drunk at the cheapskate office party you end up shagging fat ugly Dierdrie from IT dept; and that little lot's just for starters.
To those that actually enjoy it, then I suppose I ought to say happy christmas. But I'm not going to. Suffice to say, stuff christmas and
BBBAAHHHHHHHHH HUMBUG! BBAAHHHHHHHHH!
Below piccy was kindly sent to me last year by Steve Brown; I treasure it.
Compliments of the season
Ebeneezer Zarse
