There I was, minding my own business, playing on the road verge with a small weasel I had recently caught.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a fat rabbit making it's way along the gutter on the opposite side of the road. Well, I thought, sod the weasel, there's good eating on a rabbit, especially the back legs. And the skull is very crunchy.
So, abandoning all caution to the wind; without stopping, looking right, left and right and right again; I made to bound across the road. The Green Cross Code man would have grimaced, I would have had my membership of the Tuffty Club revoked, and my dear old mum would have turned in her nine graves.
I'd just about reached the centreline when some old fart in a Maxi (who must have shut the engine off to save money on the down hill stretch) clipped my tail.
Well, I shat myself there and then and leapt up onto his bonnet. Fortunately the Maxi was only doing about 20 mph so I pressed my arse against the windscreen and sprayed my pungent odour over his vinyl roof.
Mr and Mrs Old Fart were severly startled, so much so that he jumped on the brakes and she let out a high pitched yelp. I reared up menacingly, did a quick macho hiss and bounded across onto the grass verge.
In all the excitement, I hadn't noticed that some young oik in a pretend MG has driving close behind Mr Fart's Maxi. He obviously didn't see me and ran up the back, smashing various expensive bits of car.
This put the icing on the cake for me. By now, the drivers were out of their cars and there was plenty pointing and cursing going on, so I shot up a nearby tree and watched the pantomime continue.
I haven't laughed so much in ages.
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