All this talk of cider reminds me of a tramp joke I heard. (a tramp is a hobo John, and in the UK they have a strong affinity for cheap white cider and/or cheap super strength lager)
A publican is shutting for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the tooth-pick and tramp goes off. A few minutes later there is another knock on the door. When he answers there is another tramp there who also asks him for a tooth-pick. He gets the tooth-pick and off he goes. There is a third knock at the door, and a third tramp. The publican says, "Don't tell me, you want a tooth-pick too". "No, a straw". The publican gives him a straw but is curious why he wants it, so he asks the tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick. "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff is gone already."
