What type of driver are you?

[Robbo SPS]

Panther ?

[Andy Zarse]

I'm a Gazelle!

I was trying to find the young(ish) lady (?) with whom I had enjoyed Ugandan discussions after the pub closed the night before.

Ugandan discussions!! Haven't heard that one for years. Nice to see someone else used to read Private eye back in the eighties! For those who don't know, the phrase related to a politician of the day, who's name I can't remember, and who got caught with his pants down. He claimed that he and the young lady in question had been discussing the political crisis in Uganda all night in his hotel bedroom and most assuredly not indulging in a bit of "How bides thine paternal parent". A likely tale!

Can't vouch for the suitability of the rear engine cover of a R5 Maxi for discussions of a Ugandan nature, but I'd imagine one would need to be some sort of circus act to even consider the proposition.

[Andy Zarse]

I'm a sh**t-head!!


Your Weak Points:
Decidedly flacid mid-week erections.

I think we missed a plea for help lads, I think in consieration of the Big H locality we should have a whip round for some of Pfizers best Viagra and get him back on the straight and narrow!!

Straight and narrow??? Crooked and shaped like a cobbler's thumb?

[rcutler]

A Gorrilla!!

So move out of my F**king way!!!

[Barry]

I'm a Gazelle!

I tried and failed to consumate my desire on the shelf behind the R5's seats.

Respect for even trying it there Kpy, you would have to be a contorsionist to succeed, altough if it was a cold night it would have been nice and warm

[Kpy]

I'm a Gazelle!

I was trying to find the young(ish) lady (?) with whom I had enjoyed Ugandan discussions after the pub closed the night before.

Ugandan discussions!! Haven't heard that one for years. Nice to see someone else used to read Private eye back in the eighties! For those who don't know, the phrase related to a politician of the day, who's name I can't remember, and who got caught with his pants down. He claimed that he and the young lady in question had been discussing the political crisis in Uganda all night in his hotel bedroom and most assuredly not indulging in a bit of "How bides thine paternal parent". A likely tale!

Can't vouch for the suitability of the rear engine cover of a R5 Maxi for discussions of a Ugandan nature, but I'd imagine one would need to be some sort of circus act to even consider the proposition.

Yup the Ugandan phrase much beloved by Private Eye actually dates back to the mid 70s and is said to stem from a party at which a female journalist was alleged to have explained an upstairs sexual encounter by saying 'We were discussing Uganda'.
I never did try the R5 engine cover for comment va ton pere, but managed it quite regularly in the back of my Honda S800 hardtop in the early 70s. I can't remember how it was possible, but I know it required the full cooperation of the other party.

[SteveZarse]

Steve Z hasn't replied to this yet but I'm fairly sure he's be a "Bull in a china shop". He's written off or otherwise destroyed every single car he's owned (and some that he didn't!) in the last ten years.

FWIW in another area of his life he was recently described as a Human Sewing Machine!

Well I'm rather pleased to reveal that the internet (which never lies) has proclaimed me a 'panther' among drivers! I did feel that 'Bull in a china shop' was a little harsh, as it implies that I'm always clumsily smashing into inanimate objects, and I'm quite sure A Zarse esq has been far more proficient than myself in that area, particularly in recent years. Do I need to mention a certain telegraph pole vs WRX incident?

[BigH]

I've grown to distrust the press more and more these days. Everything you read seems to be b*llocks.
In my opinion, the "Bull in a China shop" incident was probably another example of Fleet Street hyperbole.
I reckon it was most likely a horse in a chemist.
H

[Andy Zarse]

In my opinion, the "Bull in a China shop" incident was probably another example of Fleet Street hyperbole.
I reckon it was most likely a horse in a chemist.
H

Do you mean the horse is in a chemist's shop or in the actual chemist him/her self?

There's a very nice chemist's in High Perberley in Surrey but I don't think they allow horses in.

[Stu]

I am a Panther

although I have had my driving skills compared to that of a w**k*r which ended up in a bout of road rage and him needing a new door window.

[Andy Zarse]

Steve Z hasn't replied to this yet but I'm fairly sure he's be a "Bull in a china shop". He's written off or otherwise destroyed every single car he's owned (and some that he didn't!) in the last ten years.

FWIW in another area of his life he was recently described as a Human Sewing Machine!

Well I'm rather pleased to reveal that the internet (which never lies) has proclaimed me a 'panther' among drivers! I did feel that 'Bull in a china shop' was a little harsh, as it implies that I'm always clumsily smashing into inanimate objects, and I'm quite sure A Zarse esq has been far more proficient than myself in that area, particularly in recent years. Do I need to mention a certain telegraph pole vs WRX incident?

The telegraph pole was in my own garden, it was a mere parking incident. A trifle.

Tell us about the other week's "Supra" incident Steve.   And explain to everyone why you claim it does not constitute a "crash", even though you skidded across the road sideways (whilst pretending to be Colin McRae) and hit the kerb, smashing an alloy to pieces and bending the track rod badly out of goose.  :-[We're all ears!

[SteveZarse]

The telegraph pole was in my own garden, it was a mere parking incident. A trifle.

Tell us about the other week's "Supra" incident Steve.   And explain to everyone why you claim it does not constitute a "crash", even though you skidded across the road sideways (whilst pretending to be Colin McRae) and hit the kerb, smashing an alloy to pieces and bending the track rod badly out of goose.  :-[We're all ears!

Well, it's like this: I skidded across the road sideways (whilst pretending to be A Zarse) and hit the kerb, breaking one small chunk out of the alloy and bending the track rod badly out of goose. Nevermind.

And I think you'll find it's me who's all ears. Mostly ears anyway.

[Gilles]

I'm a panther too !!