Err grimbleweed gnoofart shnootythings, or something like that.

So I'm told

balvinie eh Wishy.  Seen it but never tried it.  Will have to correct this oversight

The forces at work after a bottle of the finest, are not for us mere mortals to comprehend  We simply accept the risks involved, and a few bruised ribs seem like a fine momento to me

Does anyone really know how they got bruised, or is all far too embarrasing?

Well.......'Twas the night of LM 2000 and it was a balmy evening. Many a drink had been quaffed and we thought aha! wouldn't it be a great idea to go to the fair. The effects of Balvenie making many a sane man think he is half the age he really is.

So, having done the big wheel and the dodgems there we are looking at one of the less exciting rides, and Wishywashyman says 'that looks like fun, lets try that one next', at least that's how I recall it.

So on we get. Wishy taking the outside seat, me on the inside. It was one of those rides that went round and round and, at the same time, up and down with quite a violent movement.

As you know centrifugal force has more effect the heavier the body that is being moved. Well; the net effect was that Wishy was crushed against the outside of the car by the force of his own body weight. Not particularly funny on the page I know but hilarious to drunken onlookers at the time. I have it on video too just for posterity.

As for me, no bruising at all  

I'm sure Wishy remembers it differently.....

Must 'ave been the mind altering properties of the Balvenie  

There's always someone in our party that is less pi**ed, more scared etc. etc. so it's usually them that end up with the task. It was my other half at this particular moment.

Having said that I have taken some memorable movies whilst completely sh*tfaced. If only I had trhe capability to convert some of the older VHS stuff to digital............