Ooooofff !

[Steve Pyro]

Careful when checking your tyres. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13537084

[Barry]

Looking forward to Big H's comments on this matter.   

[BigH]

Looking forward to Big H's comments on this matter.

Kinnell, Oooofff! indeed.
I think my best position is 'no comment', although the one with the donkey and the melon is also a good position. In fact, several people sent me the link about the unfortunate chap, - maybe they're trying to tell me something...
H

[powermite]

I expect he also said that he was innocently eating a orange at the time,that got stuck in his mouth and the black bin liner over his head had been blown there by a gust of wind.And as for that vacuum cleaner nozzle duck taped on his wedding tackle,well there's a simple explanation for that too!!

PM

[Bob U]

Mr McCormack confided that the air was gradually escaping his body in the way that air usually does.


If the SAS party was anything to go by Wishy could give him a bloody good run for his money on this aspect of it .

[Andy Zarse]

In 1995 the Nobel Prize for Literature was presented to David B. Busch and James R. Starling, of Madison, Wisconsin, for their research report, "Rectal Foreign Bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the World's Literature."

The citations include reports of, among other items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a jeweler's saw; a frozen pig's tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine.

One can only imagine these folk were preparing for a trip to Le Mans, I'll certainly be taking most of these items with me.

A little lunchtime research shows the Germans stick up things up their bottoms too, perhaps Werner can confirm? In the helpful list at the bottom of the page on German Wikipedia it says someone inserted a kugelschreiber, god alone knows why anyone would do that to a nice Mont Blanc. I hope he left the top on.

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fremdk%C3%B6rper_in_Anus_und_Rektum

[garyfrogeye]

"a frozen pig's tail;"

How did they know? surely it must have defrosted by then!

[Barry]

"a frozen pig's tail;"

How did they know? surely it must have defrosted by then!

Prehaps they hadn't removed the packaging?

[Andy Zarse]

hmmmm

[Werner]

A little lunchtime research shows the Germans stick up things up their bottoms too, perhaps Werner can confirm? In the helpful list at the bottom of the page on German Wikipedia it says someone inserted a kugelschreiber, god alone knows why anyone would do that to a nice Mont Blanc. I hope he left the top on.

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fremdk%C3%B6rper_in_Anus_und_Rektum

Oh yes, our national sports 

[wishy]

All I can say in my defence Bob is.......... that it is a natural bodily function and from my point of view"better out than in"

[BigH]

I dunno, I wouldn't be unnecessarily harsh, I think when the urge takes you, you've just got to go with what's at hand.

Your list seems to be broken down into types of items Andy, rather than the contents of any particular citizen. At least I hope to God that's the case, if it's not, then it seems to me that there's a lot of school teachers and electricians out there who are finding their working days a little tedious. I can't speak for the Germans, but any man with a Mont Blanc up his tunnel should be kept a close eye on around the stationary cupboard, never mind the cutlery if he happened to be round your place for dinner.

I find the jewellers saw incident a little disturbing.

H

[nickliv]

I once had to X ray someone who had stuck a large brass egg up his bottom. I asked him why, and he replied, surprisingly candidly I thought, that he wanted to know what it would be like to be a chicken.

I could relate the story of the chap who rolled up a kit kat foil and poked it down his JT, but it'll have to wait for french soil, as a rendition here will result in a ban.