Dearest Cannon and balls,
Now, you come on here, waving your credentials (by the way, can you get them to slap your buttocks? - it's tricky I know, but think of hula-hoops), and asking for advice on the nearest venue for a right 'ole Barney...
Fighting Germans just isn't the way forward you know, that's sooooo.. 1940. Look, it seems you're probably from Glasgow (and what's all this "James" bollocks? if Jimmy was good enough for your Paw...), and the idea of a good night out without a glassing has probably never crossed your unfurrowed foreheads, but, I'll have you know, this is motor racing; the sport of gentlemen, for f*cks sake.
However, there is a crowd of lads that I know will be keen to indulge you in that sport of skill and craftsmanship.
Some of the people on this forum refer to them as Pikies, but that's stretching it. Roustabouts and honest to good ruffians is probably more accurate. They can be found in the fun-fair, manning the punchbag, having staring competitions with each other, and occasionally refreshing themselves from bottles of Tizer left behind at the campsites by some of our more generous contributors.
I suggest a naked bout, with lots of custard. Can I come?
H
