Dave, sadly was born without ears, although successful in business this
problem did annoy him greatly. One day he needed to hire a new manager
for his company. He set up three interviews.
The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was
very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do
you notice anything different about me?"
"Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the
reply. Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the
office.
The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the
first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything
different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears."
Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.
The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a
young man who had recently earned his BSc (Hons). He was smart,
handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two
put together. Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man
the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" Much to
his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear Contact lenses,
don't you?" Dave was shocked and realised this was an incredibly
observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The
young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well,
it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!"
This dude decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come
as different emotions e.g. fear etc .
On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and the host opens
the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters N and V
painted on his chest.
He says to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come
as?"
And the guy says," I'm green with NV".The host replies, "Brilliant,
come on in and have a drink."
A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the door
to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa
wrapped around her most intimate parts.He says to this woman "Wow,
great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" She replies, "I'm
tickled pink." The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the
party."
A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, and
the host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Mick,
standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the
other with his knob stuck in a pear.
The host is really shocked and says, "Well, what the hell are you both
doing?
You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street like
that. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?!"
Paddy replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard, and Mick here has just come
in despair"
