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Author Topic: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'  (Read 11591 times)

nickliv

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'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« on: September 05, 2008, 12:48:53 pm »
On monday I was on the roof of my new (monster) garage, and I went to step off it onto the ladder.

The ladder moved, and I went on a 3 metre freefall resulting in 2 badly broken wrists.

The amb ulance and hospital staff were excellent, and I now feel like a moto GP racer with plates inthe left oen, and pins in the right.

In a bit of pain, but the worst thing is the helplessness of it all, my poor wife is being fantastic, as are the kids.

Hopefully things will mprove over time, atm typing is one of the few things I CAN do.

At least people can't call me a w**k*r anymore ::)

I hope this is the last tale of woe to hit CA for a long long time.

Cheers

nickliv
« Last Edit: September 05, 2008, 01:23:06 pm by the no armed idiot »
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Offline Neal

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2008, 01:27:58 pm »
Bloody hell is there a curse from the commer on all of us ??? Hope you mend soon Nick, just wondering two broken arms, wife helping, toilet trouble springs to mind :-\
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nickliv

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2008, 01:34:10 pm »
The bum has been behavng itself thus far, due to the iordinate amounts of opiates I've been ingesting. I am bracing myself for the 'big one'. I've got a 'bottom wiper' (A hinged bit of plastic that you cram the bog roll in) I'm not holding out a great deal of hope.

I will, of course let you all know in graphic zarse / big H style detail.
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Offline Doris

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2008, 02:00:49 pm »
Twat!

Dx
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Offline Perdu

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2008, 02:09:58 pm »

Aw come on Doris(x)

tell the twat what you really think...

Nick

ouch mate

I know what you are going through

there's enough metal in my arm to interest  airport security geezers at check in

Still

"bright side thinking alert"

You may develop the ability to forecast the weather like my left elbow...


(It's gonna rain, by the way!)

 :P

 ;)


bill
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Offline Steve Pyro

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2008, 02:20:51 pm »
Well done Nick.  Work at Heights Regulations (2005) strictly adhered to no doubt.

You could always use the bidet!

A little light reading  ;D Work at Height Regulations (2005)
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Offline smokie

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2008, 02:22:05 pm »
Quote from: the no armed idiot on September 05, 2008, 12:48:53 pm

I hope this is the last tale of woe to hit CA for a long long time.


Seconded. Get well soon!!
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Offline Nordic

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2008, 02:44:25 pm »
Sounds painful to say the least.

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nickliv

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2008, 04:13:19 pm »
i did a 'ghost poo' - i could swear i felt it burrowing out with its tungsten tip, and i heard it enter the water like a dead fish hitting the surface of a stagnant pond, but when i checked, there was no evidence within the bowl.

bum wiper works ok, but i do wonder how to get the bog paper off without erm, what's the word, ah yes, smearing.

i can happily report that i can flush the bog with my foot. Ah the dignity.
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Offline Andy Zarse

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2008, 05:02:21 pm »
Quote from: the no armed idiot on September 05, 2008, 12:48:53 pm

At least people can't call me a w**k*r anymore ::)


You first class nugget!!!

PS I'm on diazepam and coedine at the moment as I've been pretty much bed ridden and in exquiste agony with a bad back. I can see why heroin addiction is all the rage with cool kids; a few sharp whiskys and a handful of opiates and there are carrots growing on the wall in between the tennis raquets and the turtles. The only problem with the opiates is they seem to be very "moreish". Get well soon mate!

Andy Z
« Last Edit: September 05, 2008, 05:04:06 pm by Andy Zarse »
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Offline lady pig-pen

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2008, 05:06:15 pm »
silly boys...be careful with your drugs, when i got hit by one of the rouge fireworks the nice (horrible, fat and nasty man) doctor gave me some lovely drugs, only i don't like taking them unless i have to, so still had quite a stash saved up, well i did have till rex found them....apparently they're rather "fun"....
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Offline Andy Zarse

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2008, 05:11:57 pm »
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I wouldn't sit there if I were you, it's still a bit wet.

nickliv

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2008, 05:13:03 pm »
i promise not to let rex have any drugs.
ps i'm guessing you meant rogue firework. as opposed to a french red one  ;)
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Offline lady pig-pen

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #13 on: September 05, 2008, 05:14:13 pm »
Quote from: the no armed idiot on September 05, 2008, 05:13:03 pm
i promise not to let rex have any drugs.
ps i'm guessing you meant rogue firework. as opposed to a french red one  ;)

i did, just ask russ....
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Offline Martini...LB

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Re: 'this clothing does not enable the wearer to fly'
« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2008, 06:48:36 pm »
Quote from: the no armed idiot on September 05, 2008, 12:48:53 pm
On monday I was on the roof of my new (monster) garage, and I went to step off it onto the ladder.

The ladder moved, and I went on a 3 metre freefall resulting in 2 badly broken wrists.

The amb ulance and hospital staff were excellent, and I now feel like a moto GP racer with plates inthe left oen, and pins in the right.

In a bit of pain, but the worst thing is the helplessness of it all, my poor wife is being fantastic, as are the kids.

Hopefully things will mprove over time, atm typing is one of the few things I CAN do.

At least people can't call me a w**k*r anymore ::)

I hope this is the last tale of woe to hit CA for a long long time.

Cheers

nickliv

I nearly did that once...

>Martini...LB
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