Club Arnage

Does anybody know if any of the large Hypermarkets sell Turkeys?

We're investigating the possibilities of a Turn 10 style deep fried Turkey cook-out.

All supermarkets sell turkey portions and the like, whether there are any whole ones about I don't know.  Have no Carrefour hereabouts but will check Super U and Inter-Marche 'cos if they have them, Carrefour will.  Look for "Dinde". :-\

Thanks Termie. I know they do portions and fillets, just can't recall ever seeing whole birds. That said, I've never looked either.

Mark,

If you can't find them on the shelves,

Ask at the meat counter,because in France unlike here most of their meat is cut on the premesis and there are usually butchers on hand to assist ;)

Mind you I'm sure you will find a few "turkeys" around the circuit ;D ;D

Are you being a little adventurous with your cooking/food poisoning? might be too much for the single camping gaz ring???!!! most of us can singe/burn a few burgers/beans etc time its thawed out it will be past time to go home he he !!!

Just buy a frozen one here, put into coolbox plugged into car and it'll take days to defrost.

Not if I can get one of these!!  ;D

(http://static.flickr.com/49/152078899_62aa8211ff_m.jpg)

They use one at Turn 10 and the results are fantastic!!

Thaw and inject the turkey prior to departure then let the spices do thier thing while enroute to the track. The juiced bird should last several days on ice. I would think the longer the better. As for the pot and burner, any vessel capable of holding temperatures around 350 deg. F will do. It doesn't need to be elaborate. Just make sure the bird is completely thawed before cooking. During the early days of the fried turkey revolution, people placed frozen turkeys into hot oil with catasprophic results. It was so bad that one  national insurance company has an add campaign every Thanksgiving reminding people of the hazards of frying frozen turkeys.  Can you say spontaneous combustion? Very funny if you ask me.

Deep fried chickens are good, too.  Do you guys get those crap biscuits in a cardboard tube over there?  Also good for deep-frying.

For a perfectly disgusting experience, try a deep-fried Twinkie, pickle or Snickers bar.  ;D  (I wish I were joking).

Deep fried Mars Bars (in batter) have been quite popular in shop fish and chip shops over here!!  :-\

Yer not gonna deep-fry my twinkie dude no matter how much beer I drink!!! ;D

Alcohol, sleep deprivation, hot oil, and a language barrier. This could be interesting.

 

Still haven't been to the supermarket - expect to go tommorow.  If you're serious and get stuck, I could order one from my butcher in the village.  Also, Mamers market on Monday morning sells live ones.... (really!) :-\

My brother has been known to BBQ his turkey on Christmas Day.  I hasted to add he lives in Dubai so Christmeas weather is more conducive to BBQing!

The first year he tried it the Veg etc were cooked at lunchtime and the Turkey ready for dinnertime!  However since then he has perfected the system.  You need a kettle BBQ and a fair amount of charcoal!

There are advantages to the live turkey. Fresh tastes better than frozen and you don't need ice/cooler to prevent spoilage. A simple collar with leash attached and you're ready to go. As long as you don't become emotionally attached or make her the CA mascot, you should be good to go.

Isn't it rather cruel to string a live turkey up by it's neck and drop it arse-first into a vat of boiling oil? Even the French might balk at such behaviour. It's bound to put up a fight and flap around so splashing hot oil onto those nearby. And what about plucking it, there'd be a hell of a racket I'm sure, although some folk might mistake it for the sound of The Gimp buggering a heron again.

I bet the deep-fried wattles are tasty though.

 deep fried buggered Heron?

Mark,

Why go to all that expense buying a Dreep fat Frier.  Take em over to Felix I'm sure he could do something for you.

T.

Well, having let us down for the last two years I don't know if anyone will save him a pitch this year! Plus I'm sure the Turkey would come out smelling of fish!!

Still, if he reassures us he'll be on MB this year then it saves a lot of trouble  :)

(http://www.muchos.co.uk/members/termietermite/birdflu_Small.jpg)
And maybe take some of this along too, just in case.

OK, it looks like the Turkey Fryer is a go-er, being brought over by a Team Impala Gorilla!!

So, teh quest is definately on for Turkeys. Also, termietermite, could you check and see if Carrefour (or any other supplier) does Peanut Oil in large quantities.

Sorry about the delay, a couple of chaps were making a hole in my ceiling for the staircase to go in so the PC was offline for the day!
Local supermarket here had plenty of "cuisses" - thigh and drumstick joints, but whole turkeys only available on the buchery counter by request.  I'll start a "huile de cacahuete" quest asap but a certain bit of scrutineering starts Friday....

Back again.  I have e-mailed Carrefour about the peanut oil.  Will let you know.  Also, I have found butcher in Arnarge village who has an e-mail address so have also e-mailed him.  Will PM you with replies.

Thanks Termie!!

Surely one of our Norfolk contingent, perhaps Jay or Chris Beattie, could help us out here? Norfolk is infested with the wretched things; in fact turkey farming is the only viable industry in the area.

I dont know your turkey frying experience level, but it only takes 3.5 minutes per  pound. And if you bring a frozen one with you, dont drop it into the oil unless you make very sure it has thawed completely-it could explode(no joke)

I've done several myself and I think it tastes better than the traditional, all day cooking method

How can you possibly say an exploding frozen turkey is no joke? It sounds absolutely side-splittingly hilarious to me. :D

Don't worry, the first frying will be overseen by an experienced campaigner from Turn 10!!

I'll bring me bun.

Yes!! A thread about turkeys!!



Jesus H Christ in a dark alleyway!!

How the hell do you do that, is it meant to iron out the wrinkles or provide an out of body experience? I suppose you could inject it up your rectum, but that's hardly intravenous, at least not with my rectum, and I'd guess it would make a long stay in the grandstands pretty impractical. Maybe the "departure" wadespeed refers to is the great one to which we are all heading, - and I'd say a turkey up your ar*e would certainly hasten things along.


I'd pay a lot of money to see this. It could provide more entertainment than the race. If I was a less sober person I would propose a competition to see who can get their turkey to explode at the greatest height. You've got to admit, they're a versatile bird.

Turkey for everyone!!
H

I have viewed this thread with interest (and some trepidation). The deep-frying of turkeys is a fairly serious business, fraught with danger.
For the love of God, please be guided by those with experience in these matters - Randy, you're gonna have to supervize this one, old son.
The well-worn phrase, "Flaming Puppets of Death" springs immediately to mind. It is very easy to incinerate everything (people an' all) in the vacinity of the kettle, if things go piss-shaped. Don't be tempted to use anything other than peanut oil as the results will disappoint (though sesame oil is also wonderful - but rather expensive).
You may also wish to have a physician on hand to administer the angioplasty to those so cholesterol filled that their left arm goes all tingly after the grease-fest.
I'm stuck in the US, stuck in the US, stuck in the US of A this year - so I'll keep an eye open for the plumes of smoke on Speed TV.

You fat bastard, you look like you were raised on nothing but deep fried turkey on sour dough, heavy with the Chippottle ketchup. But I'm really saddened to hear the news that you aren't coming over for Le Mans this year. I'd been looking forward to having a few drinks and us ripping the piss out of each other. And now my plans are in tatters, tatters I tell you. Next time huh?

This just gets better, there's now a chance of some "Flaming Puppets of Death"!!

I can see it now, there's a primeaval mist clinging to ground and filling the hollows at Maison Blanche, only the screeching of crows can be heard, occasionally punctuated by  the sudden whooosh and bang of a skybound incendiarised flightless bird. Occasionally a flaming figure breaks through the mist, screaming and beating itself with it's own blazing arms, while battered drumsticks, thighs and strips of tender breast fall from the heavens.

Meanwhile, Wadespeed has set up his mortuary in the trees and is injecting corpses with turkey essence prior to sending them off to that great gig in the sky. Randy strides round the whole scene, white beard flowing, with stone tablets under his arms containing The Ten Turkey Commandments.
Kinnell Jeez, I'm looking forward to this!
H

I'm touched by the inbridled affection contained within these kind words. Sadly my 06 Le Mans pilgrimage has been thwarted due to visa issuance backlogs at the US Embassy in blighty.
It's a bind, but the price one pays for the joy of hurricanes, American Idol and driving on the wrong side of the road.
I too relished the prospect of once again sharing some quality piss-taking time - and hoisting a few beers, but sadly it'll have to wait until next time.
I do sincerely apologise for my absence, though I'm sure you will be able to find someone else, with a similar glandular condition to mine, that you can publicly ridicule with impunity.
Wishing you a memorable trip,as ever.
Your true friend
Matt

Never mind Carrefour JPC, you really should try Somerfields supermarket. I went in there this afternoon on my way back from the Post Office to buy a sandwich and a pork pie. In the Fresh Meat section they had what I can honestly say were by some margin the largest turkey legs I've ever seen.  Thet were about the same size as the hind leg on my pet Labrador. How big an actual Somerfield turkey was is impossible to say, but judging by the size of it's leg I reckon it must have stood at least six feet tall when fully erect. I was aghast, it was nearly too heavy to pick up and my exclamations must have attracted some other shoppers. Pretty soon there was a fair crowd milling about, all marvelling and gasping as the giant legs were passed about the enraptured throng. Children started crying and a pensioner was knocked to the ground in the stampede for the check-out. Soon staff were on hand telling everyone to move along whilst the legs were removed from sale. I asked a gormless-looking junior mangement trainee where Somerfield sourced their giant legs. Pulling me quietly to one side and begging me not to make another scene, he told me they imported them from Iran and that they were reared with four legs, so they couldn't sell them as whole birds.

Gregor Mendel would be proud.

you've seen french fries being dropped into oil?
Imagine a 16 to 18 pound chunk of meat being dropped into oil at double the temp!

even if it is thawed, you'll get a little flare up.
gloves
apron
no shorts and no sandals are a must!

350 degree oil to the frontside of the body may put a damper on the weekend.
this stuff is truly nothing to mess around with-do it wrong and you will get hurt :o
I usually do 5 or 6 a year and see a lot of news stories about fried turkey mishaps.
on the other hand, those fryers can be used for so many things, I'd be lost without one
I've cooked;
crab
lobster
stew
and we recently had Chili for 15 an Mid-Ohio ALMS
(http://home.wi.rr.com/yfds/moyfds197.JPG)
Hardpoint inhales a beer
(http://home.wi.rr.com/yfds/moyfds104.JPG)
and Warlock joins him
(http://home.wi.rr.com/yfds/moyfds26.JPG)
the flobee1kenobi mid-ohio alarm clock ;D

Mr Chenet, I am rather concerned that you are attempting to invade my product line and provide fried commestibles to the masses.

However, as long as you don't attempt to cook anything with gills or fins (or anything battered and ressembling a sausage) I will endeavour not to cook any feathered birds (although I did manage to score some very cheap chickens when I was over in the Far East).

With regards to the peanut oil, will HO-46 be okay?

(http://www.pc-hydraulics.co.uk/media/hydraulic_oil.JPG)

I am sticking to my BBQ leg of lamb, better safe than incinerated!

>Martini...

With JP frying on MB, and Tom after LOX on Beaujeuse, I'm glad I'm on Bleu Nord. At least we have the airport fire brigade very near ;)

Hi Matt

Sorry to see you are not coming this year it would have been nice to return your hospitality and have a small glass and a chat... but there is always SEBRING 07 which is pencilled in with the missus.

Looking forward.

>Martini...

These guys have all the fun. Then again, they do take the adventure out of most endeavors.

http://www.ul.com/consumers/turkeys.html


  Check out the video

 

Anyone who lowers a partially frozen Turkey into hot oil, and continues to lower it even when it is starting to overspill, deserves a fire!!

I've watched the film and it's conclusive proof that I was right. It's hilarity in a cooking pot!  ;D And who amongst us wouldn't laugh if they saw some idiot do this:

http://www.filecabi.net/video/3friedmoron.html

It is surely one of lifes great mysterys why I am never present when some idiot sets fire to himself or lauches a firework from between his arse cheeks :'(

Once, just once is all I ask.

If any one is willing to indulge me this year please PM me with time and location.

In that case Bob, I very much recommend you are at MB when Team Zarse and the Commer arrive.

A Crazy World of Arthur Brown moment prehaps?

When do you hope to arrive Andy?

Barry/Bob, between midnight on Wed to 01.00am Thurs. In other words; late!

Chris has been for his final costume fitting this week. Will the Team JPC swimming pool definitely be full?

We will keep an eye out 4 you with the fire extinguishers ready. Fantastic!

Between Team JPC, Drinking for Holland, The Cutlers (do they have a team name?, The Liverpool Boys and Team S & M (Smokie and Mark) I'm sure we'll have at least one full pool to hand!!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

We are called "24 Hour Lemons" or "Lemons" for short!

See www.24hourlemons.co.uk

Don't you mean lemmings!!!! ;D

Probably true by the end of the week!!!

LOL ;D ;D ;D

OK, no probs.

BTW, do you still ahve your industrial supply of Chlorine for easyset pools?

How have we got from Deep Fat Frying Turkeys to Chlorine????

I will have to check how much we have. We got it from Carrefor anyhow!

Bad news on the turkey front.  I had a chat with the butcher and he said that they are only slaughtered here on holidays (French turkeys really should dread Christmas) when they're traditionally eaten.  Supermarkets import legs only (cuisse) - back to Somerfields, I guess.

Peanut oil is on sale in litre bottles for just under 2 euros.  Super U and LeClerc both had loads when I looked.  It's actually called "huile d'arachide" (they're only cacahuette when shelled and salted apparently!) - at least I've learnt something with all this.

Thanks for yoru help Termie. Looks like I'll take some frozen ones down with me and let them thaw gently for a couple of days. Great to know we can get the peanut oil!

See on MB for a few cold ones!!  :)

You mean the turkeys Mark? ;D

Ohh my, I can see it now  :o

Starts out like this

(http://www.karenskitchen.com/a/img256/turkey_chad.jpg)

and ends like this  :o

(http://www.machocreeklodge.com/images/burning.jpg)

Looks like they're getting ready for the chaps arriving on HA.

Who am I looking for - the guy on the left or the guy on the right?  OK, so I live in hope...

It's been said before and it will be said again, wherever one is the other one won't be far away!!  ;D