Do carrefour Sell Turkeys

[Matt Harper]

I have viewed this thread with interest (and some trepidation). The deep-frying of turkeys is a fairly serious business, fraught with danger.
For the love of God, please be guided by those with experience in these matters - Randy, you're gonna have to supervize this one, old son.
The well-worn phrase, "Flaming Puppets of Death" springs immediately to mind. It is very easy to incinerate everything (people an' all) in the vacinity of the kettle, if things go piss-shaped. Don't be tempted to use anything other than peanut oil as the results will disappoint (though sesame oil is also wonderful - but rather expensive).
You may also wish to have a physician on hand to administer the angioplasty to those so cholesterol filled that their left arm goes all tingly after the grease-fest.
I'm stuck in the US, stuck in the US, stuck in the US of A this year - so I'll keep an eye open for the plumes of smoke on Speed TV.

[Andy Zarse]

You fat bastard, you look like you were raised on nothing but deep fried turkey on sour dough, heavy with the Chippottle ketchup. But I'm really saddened to hear the news that you aren't coming over for Le Mans this year. I'd been looking forward to having a few drinks and us ripping the piss out of each other. And now my plans are in tatters, tatters I tell you. Next time huh?

[BigH]

This just gets better, there's now a chance of some "Flaming Puppets of Death"!!

I can see it now, there's a primeaval mist clinging to ground and filling the hollows at Maison Blanche, only the screeching of crows can be heard, occasionally punctuated by  the sudden whooosh and bang of a skybound incendiarised flightless bird. Occasionally a flaming figure breaks through the mist, screaming and beating itself with it's own blazing arms, while battered drumsticks, thighs and strips of tender breast fall from the heavens.

Meanwhile, Wadespeed has set up his mortuary in the trees and is injecting corpses with turkey essence prior to sending them off to that great gig in the sky. Randy strides round the whole scene, white beard flowing, with stone tablets under his arms containing The Ten Turkey Commandments.
Kinnell Jeez, I'm looking forward to this!
H

[Matt Harper]

You fat bastard, you look like you were raised on nothing but deep fried turkey on sour dough, heavy with the Chippottle ketchup. But I'm really saddened to hear the news that you aren't coming over for Le Mans this year. I'd been looking forward to having a few drinks and us ripping the piss out of each other. And now my plans are in tatters, tatters I tell you. Next time huh?

I'm touched by the inbridled affection contained within these kind words. Sadly my 06 Le Mans pilgrimage has been thwarted due to visa issuance backlogs at the US Embassy in blighty.
It's a bind, but the price one pays for the joy of hurricanes, American Idol and driving on the wrong side of the road.
I too relished the prospect of once again sharing some quality piss-taking time - and hoisting a few beers, but sadly it'll have to wait until next time.
I do sincerely apologise for my absence, though I'm sure you will be able to find someone else, with a similar glandular condition to mine, that you can publicly ridicule with impunity.
Wishing you a memorable trip,as ever.
Your true friend
Matt

[Andy Zarse]

Never mind Carrefour JPC, you really should try Somerfields supermarket. I went in there this afternoon on my way back from the Post Office to buy a sandwich and a pork pie. In the Fresh Meat section they had what I can honestly say were by some margin the largest turkey legs I've ever seen.  Thet were about the same size as the hind leg on my pet Labrador. How big an actual Somerfield turkey was is impossible to say, but judging by the size of it's leg I reckon it must have stood at least six feet tall when fully erect. I was aghast, it was nearly too heavy to pick up and my exclamations must have attracted some other shoppers. Pretty soon there was a fair crowd milling about, all marvelling and gasping as the giant legs were passed about the enraptured throng. Children started crying and a pensioner was knocked to the ground in the stampede for the check-out. Soon staff were on hand telling everyone to move along whilst the legs were removed from sale. I asked a gormless-looking junior mangement trainee where Somerfield sourced their giant legs. Pulling me quietly to one side and begging me not to make another scene, he told me they imported them from Iran and that they were reared with four legs, so they couldn't sell them as whole birds.

Gregor Mendel would be proud.

[Flobee1kenobi]

you've seen french fries being dropped into oil?
Imagine a 16 to 18 pound chunk of meat being dropped into oil at double the temp!

even if it is thawed, you'll get a little flare up.
gloves
apron
no shorts and no sandals are a must!

350 degree oil to the frontside of the body may put a damper on the weekend.
this stuff is truly nothing to mess around with-do it wrong and you will get hurt
I usually do 5 or 6 a year and see a lot of news stories about fried turkey mishaps.
on the other hand, those fryers can be used for so many things, I'd be lost without one
I've cooked;
crab
lobster
stew
and we recently had Chili for 15 an Mid-Ohio ALMS

Hardpoint inhales a beer

and Warlock joins him

the flobee1kenobi mid-ohio alarm clock

[Felix]

Mr Chenet, I am rather concerned that you are attempting to invade my product line and provide fried commestibles to the masses.

However, as long as you don't attempt to cook anything with gills or fins (or anything battered and ressembling a sausage) I will endeavour not to cook any feathered birds (although I did manage to score some very cheap chickens when I was over in the Far East).

With regards to the peanut oil, will HO-46 be okay?

[Martini...LB]

I am sticking to my BBQ leg of lamb, better safe than incinerated!

>Martini...

[Barry]

I am sticking to my BBQ leg of lamb, better safe than incinerated!

>Martini...

With JP frying on MB, and Tom after LOX on Beaujeuse, I'm glad I'm on Bleu Nord. At least we have the airport fire brigade very near

[Martini...LB]

You fat bastard, you look like you were raised on nothing but deep fried turkey on sour dough, heavy with the Chippottle ketchup. But I'm really saddened to hear the news that you aren't coming over for Le Mans this year. I'd been looking forward to having a few drinks and us ripping the piss out of each other. And now my plans are in tatters, tatters I tell you. Next time huh?

Sadly my 06 Le Mans pilgrimage has been thwarted due to visa issuance backlogs at the US Embassy in blighty.
It's a bind, but the price one pays for the joy of hurricanes, American Idol and driving on the wrong side of the road.
I too relished the prospect of once again sharing some quality piss-taking time - and hoisting a few beers, but sadly it'll have to wait until next time.
I do sincerely apologise for my absence, though I'm sure you will be able to find someone else, with a similar glandular condition to mine, that you can publicly ridicule with impunity.
Wishing you a memorable trip,as ever.
Your true friend
Matt

Hi Matt

Sorry to see you are not coming this year it would have been nice to return your hospitality and have a small glass and a chat... but there is always SEBRING 07 which is pencilled in with the missus.

Looking forward.

>Martini...

[wadespeed1]

These guys have all the fun. Then again, they do take the adventure out of most endeavors.

http://www.ul.com/consumers/turkeys.html


  Check out the video

 

[jpchenet]

These guys have all the fun. Then again, they do take the adventure out of most endeavors.

http://www.ul.com/consumers/turkeys.html


  Check out the video

 

Anyone who lowers a partially frozen Turkey into hot oil, and continues to lower it even when it is starting to overspill, deserves a fire!!

[Andy Zarse]

I've watched the film and it's conclusive proof that I was right. It's hilarity in a cooking pot!  And who amongst us wouldn't laugh if they saw some idiot do this:

http://www.filecabi.net/video/3friedmoron.html

[Bob U]

It is surely one of lifes great mysterys why I am never present when some idiot sets fire to himself or lauches a firework from between his arse cheeks

Once, just once is all I ask.

If any one is willing to indulge me this year please PM me with time and location.

[Andy Zarse]

It is surely one of lifes great mysterys why I am never present when some idiot sets fire to himself or lauches a firework from between his arse cheeks

Once, just once is all I ask.

If any one is willing to indulge me this year please PM me with time and location.

In that case Bob, I very much recommend you are at MB when Team Zarse and the Commer arrive.