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1711  Club Arnage / General Discussion / If Men wrote Cosmopolitan on: August 31, 2004, 11:50:33 am
If Men wrote Cosmopolitan Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with my sister and me.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.

Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not confused emotionally as women. It's a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: There is no average time, but anything over two minutes is good. Anything under that and you may be rushing your man. After your man has finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, and go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out-while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.

Q: What is "afterplay?"
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after the lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about 3 inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and buying him an expensive gift.
1712  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Anyone for Spa on: July 07, 2004, 06:31:04 pm
thanks powermite and hgb, I've found what I was looking for.
1713  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Anyone for Spa on: July 07, 2004, 06:08:54 am
Anyone got a schedule of Spa, e.g. what date/time exactly the practice/race starts? Tried the official LMES website, but this is next to being completely useless.
1714  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:The Club Arnage 2004 Coverage Site is up on: June 09, 2004, 06:23:42 am
Hi Chris,

for TV-Schedule go to http://www.eurosport.co.uk or the german version at www.eurosport.de. Their provisional schedule for LM-coverage for this year in Germany is as follows (in German):

Friday, June 11:
22.15 - 00.00 Uhr: Die 24 Stunden von Le Mans - Legenden, Die Geschichte des Langstrecken-Klassikers
Saturday, June 12:
09.00 - 10.15 Uhr: Le Mans - Vorbericht
10.15 - 11.30 Uhr: Oldtimer-Rennen 'Motor Racing Legends Group C-GTP'
11.30 - 12.00 Uhr: Berichte aus dem Fahrerlager
15:15 - 18.30 Uhr: Vorbericht, der Start
20.15 - 22.45 Uhr: Rennbericht
Sunday, June 13:
09.00 - 10.00 Uhr: Rennbericht
15.15 - 16.30 Uhr: Schlussbericht


What they send in the UK might be different from their schedule in Germany, but that you can find on their website. Hope this helps,

Werner
1715  Club Arnage / So You Think You Know About Le Mans / Re:Radio le Mans: Which year did they start? on: June 07, 2004, 06:11:14 am
yes, 1987 is correct. And I hope they will still be on air in 2087.

Cheers

Werner
1716  Club Arnage / So You Think You Know About Le Mans / Re:Radio le Mans: Which year did they start? on: June 06, 2004, 07:29:01 pm
Well , that doesn't answer my question exactly...
1717  Club Arnage / So You Think You Know About Le Mans / Radio le Mans: Which year did they start? on: June 06, 2004, 09:22:29 am
Here is one for the veterans amongst us: In which exactly did Radio Le Mans start?
1718  Club Arnage / 2007 and earlier / 1 Expo for sale on: June 06, 2004, 09:13:35 am
Face value (50 Euros), as time  is too short to think about mail-delivery I suggest a pick-up on site. We'll be there Thursday evening, appr. 20:00, can be contacted by phone.
1719  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Which campsite would you like to be on ?? on: June 06, 2004, 09:09:21 am
The advantage of Expo is when it rains there are some buildings to shelter in, and of course one gets the opportunity to laugh at the Morgan owners cleaning their cars all day everyday!

However it is hard to sleep on and full of Danes and Germans pissing everywhere.

Fully agree to that. Another advantage is that it's so close to the main-entrance, the dunlop chicane, the grandstands. However, I've never been on a campground (and I tried them almost all in the last 20 years) where it was easy to sleep and which was not full of people pissing everywhere....
1720  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:When Do You Arrive? on: June 06, 2004, 09:04:57 am
Thursday nite on EXPO

Werner and the lemanszone.de team
1721  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Banking/Camping Permits on: May 18, 2004, 09:41:27 pm
I'm not sure about this practice. At Expo they hand out countermarks when leaving the campground and check them on re-entry, even when you walk in, at least on Saturday/Sunday
1722  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Marking out your pitch on: May 18, 2004, 09:39:20 pm
Smokie, I see your point, but since most of the campgrounds are booked out and new people arrive almost around the clock it has become quite important to mark out your pitch unless you don't want to risk finding your barbeque-area filled with parked cars when returning from the track.
But I also found that some people really overdo it a little, like marking out the size of a football-field for just a handful of cars and tents. So lets just stay fair and keep the markings to a minimum.
1723  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:Group C support race on: May 18, 2004, 05:13:26 pm
For a little more info see http://www.groupc-gtpracing.com/news.htm

Cheers

Werner
1724  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re:CA Web site problems. on: May 14, 2004, 09:22:53 pm
In case you've got browser problems try Opera. The ad-sponsered version is for free (download www.opera.com), its much quicker than MSIE and Netscape and there are versions available for many os: windows, linux, solaris, beos, even os/2. Any website which sticks to the standards runs fine within Opera

Werner
1725  Club Arnage / General Discussion / Anyone of Club Arnage in the train from CDG to LM on June 11? on: May 06, 2004, 11:10:58 pm
This year the race week will be a short one for me, I'll arrive in Le Mans on Friday night coming from Paris CDG Airport with the TGV 5234 leaving the airport at 9:09 pm. Anyoneone else of you folks in that train to drink one or two or three pre-race-beers on the train together with?

Cheers

Werner
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