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46
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Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re: Audi Offer Schumacher Le Mans Drive
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on: October 20, 2006, 01:29:44 am
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I welcome it if it does happen. it will bring a higher profile to the sport which means more money/tv coverage to follow. And then more money maybe plowed back into the sport and circuits themselves.
btw M Schumacher has raced at Le mans before, for Mercedes in the late 80's as part of their junior squad.
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48
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Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re: The (Unrelated To Le Mans) Joke Thread
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on: October 19, 2006, 10:58:46 am
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A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.
The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Ted. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
Well, Ted the rooster costs £3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ted.
The farmer takes Ted home and sets him down in the farmyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now.
You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.
Ted seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Ted takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Ted nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.
After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ted is in there.
Later, the farmer sees Ted after a flock of geese down by the lake.
Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ted out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.
The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Ted on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ted, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
Ted opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting closer."
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52
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Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re: The (Unrelated To Le Mans) Joke Thread
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on: October 09, 2006, 11:57:17 am
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knetter posted this to our forum: I sent this pic around to a few people, my Father in Laws wife told me that I shouldn't proliferate this type of oppression, and that I was as bad as a terrorist. Guess that's me off the Christmas card list then. Hey - ho if thats the case, i'm off to print this out several times!
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57
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Club Arnage / General Discussion / Re: The (Unrelated To Le Mans) Joke Thread
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on: October 06, 2006, 01:21:10 pm
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E-Mailing the wrong wife This was voted as the best e-mail joke in Australia in 2001. After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at th e conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis.
They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man w as told he would have to wait for a later flight.
He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was havin g a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold.
The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his w ife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.
His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead.
Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:
Dearest wife, Departed yesterday as you know. Just got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow. Your loving husband.
** P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.
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59
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Club Arnage / 2007 and earlier / World Golf Championship
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on: September 27, 2006, 06:10:20 pm
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Have 2 tickets for the championship for this friday 29/9/06 at The Grove, Watford. Sadly, can no longer make it. Face value £130 each, so will take £50each or offers! tel 07808 787209
Neil.
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