Was it Dr Emmett Brown who said, "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads"? It could just as easily have been Turn 10 mover and shaker ATC Greg, who invited me to spend the weekend along with the Sebring advance party at his lodge in the darkest, almost inaccessible labyrinth of twisting dirt trails and Floridian scrub brush known as River Ranch.
After filling up a couple of coolboxes with beer we picked-up Vegas!, JPC, Doris and Langtall from the Virgin Atlantic baggage claim and took them directly to The Fish on Fire for dinner and refreshments. They were all in remarkably good shape, given that they had spent the previous evening enjoying the hospitality at Maison Zarse - and then making a concerted attempt to relieve VS015 of it's Stella Artois manifest.
I did my best to sell them on FoF's awesome terryaki and garlic grilled wings and chicken quessadillas, but only JPC went for it. The others opted for Sebring Sirloin - a shameless piggy-back marketing ploy to shift spare scrag-end that the others fell upon. Needless to say, Doris had to send hers back three times and even the one she finally resigned herself to gnaw through could have been used to re-sole my gardening boots. Tip: Listen to the regulars, people.
From here we piled into my Suburban and headed south, arriving at the front gates at RR on the stroke of 11.10pm.
The welcoming party was waiting for us (in body, if not cognisence). Greg, MiCar and the Amazing Randy transferred all our sh!t into two gigantic pick-ups and we crashed-off into the darkness. It was apparent that the River Ranch party had started some considerable time prior to our arrival. It then went on into the early morning.
A little later that same morning, we dragged our sorry asses out of bed breakfasted on Sausage and egg buscuits (with lashings of icey Guinness to wash it all down) and loaded up onto (rather than into) Mike's Chevy Blazer and an assortment of quad bikes.
I noticed a couple of intersting things about Mike's Blazer. The headlights are at about shoulder height, to give you an idea of the lift kit on it. It's 350 small-block has full-on, 'bunch of bananas' headers. The front seats are out of a Saleen Mustang (though the back seat would look more at home in a London bus). Oh, and it doesn't have any brakes. Now, you know when most people say "It's got no brakes", they really mean that the brakes are, you know, a bit iffy. Mike's Blazer does not have a braking system. The brake pedal is not connected to the brake cylinders and serves merely as a decorative item. I must correct myself - it does have a rudimentary means of arresting it's forward progress. This system is called a tree.
We spent all morning and half of the afternoon crashing through the undergrowth and plunging through bogs, creeks and wash-outs, sometimes miles off of the nearest trail. It was utterly insane. The relentless boozing, tree killing and rapid-fire joke telling/p!sstaking combined with 90 degree temps was something to behold.
Seth and I ferried Vegas! back to Orlando last night. The others voted to spend another night out in the woods. This morning, I took him down to Cruise America to pick up this years land yacht. I'm guessing Rick will roll onto the Hendricks Field RV staging area around 5.00pm today.
So, the weary travellers have passed from Andy Zarse's hands, through mine and now over to the custodians of Turn 10. Things could get very ugly from here on in.
My next guest is Mr Zarse himself. Rumour has it that Virgin are ordering in fresh rose petals to scatter before him, as he makes his way through US Immigration.
Andy, I've been under considerable pressure to get you (and me) to the track on Thursday night, rather than my planned Friday lunchtime arrival.
Now, some may brand me a light-weight (there's a 'first' for everything, I suppose), but I'm inclined to stick with plan A and start the event with a clear head. However, you are my guest and that gives you a deciding vote. Let me know if you want to rush off a near 10 hour flight, bundle into a car - slog down to the track, arriving just as the WFO party is winding down - and put your tent up in the dark. Your call - not that I have any strong feelings either way, you understand.
Looking forward to seeing everyone else with Sebring on the radar for this weekend. To the rest - we'll miss you, so plan to do it one day. It's an emotional experience.
