Press Release
Team JPC
17:12 GMT
Monday 21st June 2005
Team Headquarters
Basingstoke, Hampshire. England
"Team Principle Mr JP Chenet, Team Secretary Mr FatLad & Team Fluid Dynamist Mr Cocktail would like to take this opportunity to deny ALL rumours surrounding the "Tropicoma" energy drink.
As respected members of the community, we have conducted numerous, rigorous scientific tests and have found no links between the consumption of Tropicoma and subsequent reports of paralysis, impotence, blindness, schizophrenia or senile dementia.
We would also like to make it very clear that the "biohazard logo" was not forcefully imposed upon us by the free nations of the world to mark the aforementioned "health tonic" as a weapon of mass destruction.
There is one further rumour that we feel needs to be quashed. Tropicoma is NOT as addictive as crack cocaine.
Team JPC will continue to distil Tropicoma in the traditional manner. We would like to reassure all our loyal fans that Tropicoma will continue to be available to those wishing to enjoy this wonderful beverage”
End