Matt, don't despair,
I've managed to obtain some further info on the changes, and although I may have made a few minor errors in translation, I reckon I've got the gist of it:
The nine new pits will not simply be an extension of the rest of the grid. They will be awarded to the teams with the most scantily clad pit girls. Buffing will be encouraged.
The VIP lounges above, will be based on a 'Gibbet' design, and used to suspend VIP's
I misread the info on the new Welcome Centre. It will not be on three levels, but will in fact be on three wheels. It will be moved to a different location every hour during darkness.
The 180 degree windows will be mirrored and one way. And in the ladies rest rooms.
This will explain my earlier observations of "enlargement in the paddock"
The new pedestrian tunnel will be patrolled by the Michelle Pfieffer BJ school on their complementary fact finding European tour.
The new toilet blocks are to be manned by female dwarves with disproportionately large and unequal breasts, who will 'hold things steady' while the patrons check their headset radios and hip flasks.
The modification to Tetre Rouge will take the track through the living room of the ACO president.
The champagne bar will be free, with pole dancers and prizes for over indulgence.
Eggs and tomatoes will be supplied to fans in the village with which to greet the extra volume of cars that will be allowed in.
Yes, I remember the double cork design of the old Champers bar. After each bottle had sent us alternately knock kneed and bow legged we would retire exhausted to the Railway Bar, a railway carriage under a tree adapted to serve beer and frites, and sit down for a while. This has now been replaced by a skip, where people go behind for a leak. On balance, I preferred the bar.
Get there next year, make the best of what's left before it's all gone.
H
