Sheds... Steady Wishy!!!

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

Taken from http://www.theregister.co.uk/

OK, not quite the same shed as our mate Wishy, but entertaining nonetheless:

If you know what a sheddie is, what creosote is for and can tell your featherboard from your elbow, then you are advised to proceed directly to www.readersheds.co.uk - a cutting-edge online resource for shed lovers worldwide.

Anyone who has - or covets - a shed of their own will immediately understand why this site is making a vital contribution to the advancement of Western civilisation. "Non-sheddies" will not, and are advised to get back right now to whatever it is they do while the rest of us are enjoying our sheds.

So, down to the serious business of sheds. Start with a quick read of Readershed's News section, currently leading with "Comeuppance for shed burning Yobs". That'll teach Ipswich ne'er-do-wells to mess with a man's shed.

Move on to the highly-illuminating forum where burning issues such as "How do I grow huge runner beans?" and "What's your shed made of?" are thrown open for frank and adult discussion.

Knock up a quick brew before enjoying the astonishing Shedfacts. Did you know, for instance, that Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants; or that the name Deina is Somalian for devil and any women with this name should avoided at all costs? No? You do now.

But how, you ask, can Readersheds possibly top this triumph of trivia? Nigh on impossible, but they've pulled it off in the form of Share your shed. Yes, what we have here is nothing less than pure XXXX shed porn - an extensive thumbnail gallery of international sheds inviting sheddies to vote on their preferred structure. Think acres of naked timber and mineral felt, think buckets of creosote and strap hinges. Think sheddie heaven. Oh yes.

[wishy]

Certainly different!!,but not the same as having four wheels and the odd screeching noise now and then........and guess what my rear bumper is now in one piece after some kind person in Guildford last week trashed the bumper completely in one of the multi-storey carparks.

Wishy

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

Bas**rds, hope their car goes up in smoke....

This'll cheer you up (maybe) Cloth Cap Name Generator

Yours faithfully

FAUNTLEROY FOGG

[pretzel]

I too have become the victim of anonymous car vandals.

Some time between 1am and 9am Sunday some s**t thought it would be a laugh to remove the spoiler from the back of my Scoob. Unfortunately they didn't have any tools at that time in the morning so the rear of the car in now in a nice vandalised, spoilerless state.

Not only is the damage annoying but the time consuming business of getting it all sorted out is a real pain.

I don't normall wish anyone harm but a plague of the clap to those responsible for this mindless vandalism.

If anyone in the South Wales area is offered a high level spoiler for an Impreza (dark blue metallic) please notify the police. Or let me know and I will.
It will be minus the fixings as they are still attached to the car.

[wishy]

Stranger things happen....It must be our week Pretzel for wanton vandalisim,although our cases are different......What about your alarm.Did it not go off?

Today I had a welsh speaking sheep stop me in the street and ask if I wanted to buy a used Subaru spoiler to fit to the shed....he thought it wouuld help  the stability on track days!!!


Only Joking....sorry to hear about the theft..

Wishy

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

Bas**rds....  Can't understand it - probably jealous.  Hope they get shot, murdered or caught with their john thomas in a grinder

[pretzel]

What about your alarm.Did it not go off?

Today I had a welsh speaking sheep stop me in the street and ask if I wanted to buy a used Subaru spoiler to fit to the shed....he thought it wouuld help  the stability on track days!!!


Only Joking....sorry to hear about the theft..

Thanks for the symapthy. Strange thing was the alarm did not go off. I'm sure there is some kind of motion sensor along with the ultrasonics, satellite tracking etc. etc..... but it was not activated. Not sure why as it must have taken a fair amount of effort to remove the spoiler in the way it was.

Funny thing was the cops came round yesterday to take fingerprints etc. in the pouring rain. Last time I saw anyone dusting for prints on the telly it looked like the surfaces concerned had to be dry..... All a bit pointless really. Even the officer said it was really a waste of his time.

Nice to know that our law and order is being upheld by highly motivated, intelligent individuals.

BTW - Next time you see that sheep in the street make sure you have your size 10 wellies with you

STOP PRESS: Just got a quote for the repairs: £1663!!

[Robbo SPS]

Pretze l ,, next time the Plos come round ask them to give you a form about Criminal injuries Compensation Board . Its for assault injuries , but  i am sure the damage has effected your mental health......

Did the fingerprint powder leave your car in a nice "clean" state afterwards

[Andy Zarse]

Continuing the theme of wrecking Subarus, I have yet again been struck by the Curse of the Commer.

I was trying to manouvere the Sooby to jump start the old bastard. In the act of doing this I reversed into a telegraph pole. In my own garden! It has smashed in the bumper, tailgate and backpanel and I now cannot open the boot. Total bill £2000! Okay, it's insured but...

At least look on the bright side Pretzel, you have got someone else to blame for the damage. I have to live with myself and the knowledge that I am nothing less than a cupid stunt.

[Steve Pyro]

I reversed into a telegraph pole. In my own garden! It has smashed in the bumper, tailgate and backpanel and I now cannot open the boot. Total bill £2000!

Bloody hell Andy, are the back ends of these cars made of waffer thin platinum coated cardboard???

Or did you have your foot firmly to the boards whilst doing the reversing???

Or (there's more) did you pull right out into the road and make a real llllllllooooonnnnggggg run at it???



answers on a postcard please to the usual address

Maybe a Poll is in order  

[pretzel]

Pretze l ,, next time the Plos come round ask them to give you a form about Criminal injuries Compensation Board . Its for assault injuries , but  i am sure the damage has effected your mental health......

You may jest.... in the post yesterday I received a letter from the local Police authority advising me of my rights to criminal injuries compensation, The right to sue the criminals privately, details of access to a counselling service, and a whole host of other things.

Excepting the counselling I guess that all of this is OK provided thay catch the perpetrators in the first place, which of course, they won't. They're all too busy parked up on motorway bridges pointing laser devices at us all.

Regarding my mental health - it's always been a bit tricky to tell

[gibberish]

In the act of doing this I reversed into a telegraph pole. In my own garden!

Andy, this might be a silly question, but why is there a telegraph pole in your back garden?  

[Andy Zarse]

I don't know Gibb, BT just put it there some years ago.

I suppose where it is is not technically a garden, more a sort of well kept field thingy. The pole supports various electric and telephone cables. As I discovered, it is bloody inconveniently located... However, I remain a right tit for not noticing it's whereabouts.

[gibberish]

They need to get your permission for that sort of thing.  I recall it's called a 'wayleave' or something similar.  Do you get paid a rent for the ground they use, or isn't it really your property

[Andy Zarse]

f**k all for the wayleave. But I do park the commer on it and mow it. I am honestly not sure if it is on our patch or not, it's all very vague.