Gibber, do us a favour when you get to Three Bridges station tonight. Cross the road and have a look at the traffic light control box and see if there is still any sick on top of it.
Sick, eh, who needs it? 
Will investigate the said lights as soon as possible, and report back.
OK, investigation complete. Accompanying me, this morning, on my short exploration of the complex traffic light system outside Three Bridges station, was Professor P Uke. Professor Emeritus of Forensic Sickology at Crawley University for the criminally drunk. We examined all 12 of the control boxes, but were unable to find any remanants of sick. At first we thought that Crawley Borough Council might have been round to clear it up, but this would imply an element of competence on their part, which simply does not exist.
We were therfore forced to take swabs from all 12 boxes, and submit them to an examination in the field. Proff Uke, having kindly brought along his field investigation kit, proceded to set up in the middle of the traffic light crossing outside the Kebab house. This was thought to be the most likely venue for the suspected puking incident. After 30 seconds of intensive analysis there were still no signs of last nights supposed puke.
However, Proff Uke did manage to find microscopic particles of clinical waste, which supports Mr Zarses assertion that he was there.
We were forced to the conclusion that one of two theories was possible:
1 The puke had been thorougly cleaned up.
2 It was never there in the first place.
In support of theory 1 it's always possible, but then so is anything!
If theory 2 is correct, we must suspect the workings of Mr. Zarses mind.
I personally lean to a private theory that it was licked up by one of the professors students in an attempt to get closer to his studies.
Sorry Andy.........nothing there
