Here below a letter I sent just last week to the robbing bastards at Gatwick Subaru. I used to have a Honda and it was an absolute pleasure to deal with the dealer in Crawley. But these people really take the biscuit, permanently trying to stitch up their customers. They charge £67.50 per hour plus VAT for a grunting spotty teenager, who resembles and smells like a badly shaved oran-utang, to change the oil and filter and prod a few bits and bobs with an old screwdriver.
Anyway, they tucked me up like a kipper last year on the 10,000 miler, so I took my own oil rather than pay the £48.00 plus VAT per gallon they charge for Castrol GTX. IE, they charged me £20 for two Rust Proof Stamps. I asked what had happened to the old ones, had they dropped of the bottom of the car? Oh no Sir, these are the stamps we put in your service book to show the Corrision Inspection has been carried out. I open the book to see two stickers sized 1 inch x 1/2 inch that just said "Subaru" on them. Nothing else, no code, hologram, nothing. £20 for christ's sake!!! And why two of the buggers?
Anyway I was ready for them this time, I just knew this would happen:
Gatwick Subaru
X
X
X
26 February 2004
Dear Sirs,
Subaru Impreza WRX GX52 xxx
Invoice Noxxxxx
I refer to the invoice posted last week in respect of the 20,000 mile service carried out on 17 February.
I have the following queries:
• Can you please explain why I have been invoiced for 2.2 hours of labour when the vehicle was only in your possession for exactly 1.5 hours? This is taken from the time I dropped the keys over the counter until the time your member of staff called me to tell me the vehicle was ready for collection. I was by that time sitting in your reception area waving at him from behind the coffee machine. Unless there was a tremor in the space/time continum, and of which I was unaware, I assume the extra time invoiced must be a clerical error.
• I was somewhat surprised to note that you had been able use 1 x unit of screen wash @ £1.92 per unit plus VAT. The reason for my surprise is that that very morning I had personally topped up the washer bottle to the point that it would have not been possible to get so much as a further teaspoonful of washer fluid in there. I wonder therefore if you could explain to me this apparent discrepancy.
• When checking the screen wash, I was similarly careful to check the level of other under bonnet fluids and they were all on or at maximum capacity. I was therefore unable to understand how you were able to use a unit of brake fluid. Reference is made in the invoice to the cleaning and adjustment of the brakes, but unless they have been bled (which is not on the invoice) I do not see how this amount of fluid could have been used. Incidentally, what constitutes 1 unit? At £10.98 plus VAT per unit, it must be very special brake fluid indeed.
• I am unsure as to what is a “Pitstop OL”. I’m sure it’s vital, and you’ve used 1 x unit of it, but can you please let me know what it is, because I'm losing sleep about it.
Upon receipt of your revised invoice and explanations I will be happy to pay for the work by return. Having said the above, your increasingly imaginative attempts at fleecing your customers never fails to amaze and amuse.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Yours truly,
Andrew Zarse
Director
So there you have it. I'll let you know their response.
PS Guys, nyone know what a Pitstop OL is? I reckon it's that bit of a broken plastic you always find they've left in the ashtray, and whose origin and purpose is know only to a selct few.
