Pantani Clone Plan uncovered

[Mr. Rick]

With apologies to all you non-velo inspired CA-ers, but just had to post this little gem found on www.cyclingnews.com this morning:

A mysterious religious cult plans to clone Marco Pantani, according to a source inside the organisation who agreed to speak to Cyclingnews only on condition of complete anonymity.

Clonaid, the cloning company set up by the Raelian organisation, intends to resurrect Pantani as "a mark of respect for the many, many people worldwide who were touched be the loss of this great rider," according to the source.

It seems the Pope is not the only religious leader to be a cycling fan, as the decision to clone Pantani came right from the top of the Raelian Movement. The movement's French leader, Rael was a journalist before his 1973 conversation with extra-terrestrials inspired him to found the movement, and is a lifelong cycling fan, according to our source.

"Rael was there in 1998 when Pantani won on Alpe d'Huez and went on to win the Tour," said our source. "Though he's known as a car racing driver, he also has a passion for cycling. He was deeply moved by the news of Pantani's death and immediately instructed Clonaid to investigate the possibility of cloning him.

"Like so many people, Rael realized when Pantani died that the Italian was in fact the greatest climber of his generation, and not a wacky little bloke with a suspiciously high haematocrit and a big mouth after all."

Samples of Pantani's tissue were obtained through Raelian Movement contacts in Italy and a host mother recruited from within the movement. All that remains is for Clonaid's laboratory to successfully meld the DNA from one of Pantani's cells with one of the host mother's eggs.

Clonaid has claimed several successful human cloning experiments in recent years, but has never produced enough evidence to satisfy skeptics.


Hmmm, now what day is it today?  

[jpchenet]

Hmmm indeed!!  

The Raelian movement???..... are they the ones cloned from the Raleigh movement?  

And this guy Rael who heads it up. I have a sneaky feeling he may be related to Raoul.  

[Mr. Rick]

And this guy Rael who heads it up. I have a sneaky feeling he may be related to Raoul.  

I think you could be right, Raoul rears his ugly mug again......

[Steve Pyro]

From the Times :

Is today the day to reveal the chicken-powered nuke?
By Patrick Barkham

FOR those with an eye for an April Fool this morning, the tale of a chicken-powered nuclear bomb appears too good to be true.

But civil servants at the National Archives said the secret plans were disclosed on April 1 purely by coincidence after a long battle to have them declassified in time for the opening of an exhibition at the National Archives, formerly the Public Record Office, in Kew tomorrow.

Professor Peter Hennessy, the curator of the Secret State exhibition, said: “It is not an April Fool. These documents have come straight from the archives at Aldermaston. Why and how would we forge them?” According to the plans, the seven-tonne Blue Peacock bomb, with half the explosive force of the device that destroyed Nagasaki, was designed to stop the Red Army advancing across West Germany during the height of the Cold War.

Wrestling with the problem of how to keep the landmine at the correct temperature when buried underground, nuclear physicists at the Aldermaston nuclear research station in Berkshire proposed that live chickens would generate enough heat to ensure that the device could remain operational when buried for seven days. The birds were to be placed inside the casing of the bomb, given seed to keep them alive and prevented from pecking at the wiring.

The landmine would then be remotely detonated by retreating soldiers.

Tom O’Leary, head of education and interpretation at the National Archives, said: “It does seem like an April Fool but it most certainly is not. The Civil Service does not do jokes. The reputation of the National Archives would be damaged if we made this up.”


 
 

[jpchenet]

And this guy Rael who heads it up. I have a sneaky feeling he may be related to Raoul.  

I think you could be right, Raoul rears his ugly mug again......

As opposed to Robbo's wonderful Mugs!!  

[Steve Pyro]

JP, welcome to the club.  

[BigH]

All sounds quite reasonable to me, and also explains what the little tyke has been up to in the shed these last few months.
H

[jpchenet]

JP, welcome to the club.  

Oh yeah!!  Hadn't noticed!  

Something tells me Gibberish could be next, unless Mr Zarse has one of his surges!

[Steve Pyro]

unless Mr Zarse has one of his surges!

I hope he's carrying some tissues and does it discretely.  I'd hate to think of the mess and fall out if he doesn't  

...I'll get the mop and bucket.

[gibberish]

Something tells me Gibberish could be next, unless Mr Zarse has one of his surges!

Oh all right then.............