Author Topic: Still laughing !!  (Read 6647 times)

Offline Gilles

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Still laughing !!
« on: July 15, 2004, 01:56:34 pm »
One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight, when the sun rises tomorrow you will be able to see!" Needless to say, Anthony prays up a storm! Morning came and Anthony is still blind.
He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, "Anthony, what's wrong?"
Anthony wails, "Mommy, I prayed so hard but I'm still blind!" His Mom gently pats him on the head. "I know, honey. April Fools!"
Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...

... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !

Offline Snoring Rhino

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2004, 02:23:29 pm »
And the 2004 award for Political Correctness goes to ............. Gilles!

Offline Brad Zarse

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2004, 04:25:28 pm »
That was funny in French I imagine !  ;D


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Offline Chef

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2004, 12:27:47 pm »
crash and burn gilles. . . . .

Offline Steve Pyro

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2004, 04:49:09 pm »
Gilles, I suppose you posted that after being rather over 'refreshed' on Bastille Day.

Vive la France !
Steve East Anglian cobras


Offline Gilles

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2004, 05:16:36 pm »
This kid was probably the only one not soaping after the Euro football match  :P
Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...

... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !

Offline Ruptured Duck Motorsport

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2004, 09:26:12 am »
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk".
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
Scarred old slaver know he’s doin’ alright.

Offline Snoring Rhino

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2004, 02:05:42 pm »
Sorry Mark - I reckon Gilles still has the title! ;D

Offline johnevans3

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2004, 08:49:53 pm »
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks.  As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air and some Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.  The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"  Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.  After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program.  The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."  He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day / 50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."  "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*


Offline johnevans3

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2004, 10:23:35 pm »
I can't believe no one liked my joke ??? ???

Offline Robbo SPS

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2004, 01:12:40 am »
I can't believe no one liked my joke ??? ???

John

As with lots of American things, the Brits saw it a few years ago, but hey it good bringing the old ones out.  ;D
Take life by the horns and live it.

Offline Gilles

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2004, 09:37:27 am »
I got a new car radio yesterday. It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yelled out: "F&**king kids!"
And my radio started playing Michael Jackson songs  ;D
Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...

... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !

Offline SteveZarse

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2004, 10:06:04 am »
 ;D ;D ;DMuch better Gilles, bravo! ;D ;D ;D
TEAM ZARSE - It's our pleasure!

Offline johnevans3

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2004, 02:25:31 pm »
That is better than the first one.  

Offline gibberish

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Re:Still laughing !!
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2004, 02:32:53 pm »
Excellent Gilles.  Well done  ;D
Reality is an illusion caused by alchohol deficiency!