My annual Humbug post.
It's an entirely wretched time of year and anyone who wishes me Merry Christmas can just bloody well sod off
I was in Crawley yesterday, what a wonderful festive and seasonal sight. The County Mall was completely rammed with thick shellsuit-wearing bastards dawdling around buying all manifestations of sh*t made by child labour, spending money they can ill-afford. Even the so-called carols were pre-recorded and sounded more like the massed choir of the Indian Jute and Hemp Marketing Board. I'm sure I could hear the sitar and zithers harmonising. Which would be fine if it was Divali but it isn't. And the price of wrapping paper has gone up to 5pence this year, welcome to rip-off Britain. Oh and there was a one-legged pigeon in the street outside the Rat and Parrot pecking up the remnants of last night's festive sick off the pavement. I'm not sure how it didn't choke on the cubes of broken bus stop glass that litter the streets, it's all that yuletide mindless violence that get's me.Quite what Sweet Jesus of Nazareth must think is anyones guess
Indeed, four of us Zarses are going to China to get away from the whole ghastly business of Christmas in the UK.
Roast pork and noodles and a big night out in a Shanghai titty bar has got to be better than endless repeats of Only Fools and Horses and a gut full of gas from too much turkey, Guinness and a nut allergy.
So you chrismas lovers, you can all just piss off. I'm not interested. Got it?
