As usual, Autosport dropped through my letter box this morning (no euphemisms here). What a complete roll of double-ply bathroom tissue this once great magazine has become. Next week, and from thereon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to set the dog on the knobbly waif that delivers it.
First of all F1. Even a man with a long and dedicated history of high frequency self abuse can see that F1 has been spiralling towards it's own rear end pretty well since Senna met his maker, and yet Autosport seems to reach new, uncharted levels of sycophancy every week. When one of the smug F1 inner sanctum members deigns to be interviewed, it's treated like an audience with the queen, the tricky questions aren't asked and political replies are allowed to be got away with. Let's have some real journalism for chrissakes, to this reader it seems the Autosport staff are in F1's pockets. And does anyone find Bamber funny? he even manages to make his caricatures of Eccleston and Mosley flattering, again, a*se licking of the highest order. Let's see them try Chris Riddle, Steve Bell or Martin Rowson for a spell...
Closely linked with the kipper-like odour that hangs around their F1 reports (reminds me somewhat of how Motson's voice was used to make the Staring Championships in Big Train exciting) is the way that they have let sportscars and other series down. While fans have been switching off F1, and if they haven't, then the doctor in charge should switch them off, Autosport should have been championing these other series, where real racing is still going on, without the prima-donnas, ridiculous prices, lack of fan access, stupid security etc. It wouldn't be difficult to turn a disgruntled F1 fan into a 'blimey, did you see that!!' sportscar or GT fan.
Unfortunately, their LM report lived down to the rest of their standards. Let's have some imagination here lads, presumably you're paid a salary. LM is the biggest race involving British fans on the calendar, by a long chalk. Yet the track has been gradually emasculated year by year. We've had stupid chicanes, that ridiculous section before the esses (designed no doubt by the bastard cloned spawn of Salvador Dali and Billy Smart), unnecessary concrete walls etc etc. Now the fair, which was an integral part of the whole fixture has been pretty well castrated. Have Autosport made any attempt to give this an airing? My A*se. They should be trying to embarrass the ACO and start telling it like it is.
I could go on, but it's pill time, and then I'm off. This time tomorrow, with a bit of luck, I should be nearing the top of Scafell, ready for a Stella and hopefully not a copy of Autosport in sight...
H
