Personally, I've always found Germolene to be the best.
Not the most effective mind you, but has a wonderful sting to it, and if you take care to smear it all around the edges it doesn't half make your eyes water, and I sort of like that. Naked pirouetting on the spot, immediately after application adds a certain Russian roulette feel to things. And it helps pass the long nights.
Which reminds of Val Singleton, or maybe it was Lesley Judd, smearing marmalade round and round on a CD with her finger. That gave me an erection that lasted for six months and nearly killed me.
H