Club Arnage

usefull french phrase thread .........feel free to add some which have served you well !! ;D
Pardon madame vous parlez anglaise / excuse me sweetheart do you speak English ?
je ne comprends pas/ I dont understand (use when pulled by fuzz)
je ne roulez pas a 200kph? /was I really doing 200kph ?

If somebody is peeing you off this works well... Oi John fichez-mois la paix!!
If you are in the poop and need help/ aidez-mois s'il vous plait
I'm going to Le Mans /je vais a Le Mans
two coffee calvados please/deux cafe calvar s'il vous plait

I'm sure you guys have some more  ;D ;D ;D

OI GARCON MORE BEER


and one from my youth...

Je t'aime, moi non plus

Seemed to do it for Jane Birkin, I never understood what it meant though...

Je vais AU Mans!  Yeah, so I'm a pedant and the pedants are revolting.

One for the women folk 8)

Non seulement il est puissant, il est vite!


Not only is he strong, he is fast!

Where can I meet him?

 :-* :-* :-*

My son (aged 17) - who is fluent in French told me this but I don't know what it means and he wouldn't tell me.

"Est-ce que tu peu seuse ma bete"

Lisa
 :-\

Babelfish helped with this one!

To be said out load on Sunday night!

tuez le bohémien !

Kill the Pikey!!

Here!!

"Nous avons pour vous une bonne journée de sports qui demarre avec le rugby!"

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir dans mon sac a dos?

It's never worked for me, but I can but hope   ;) ;) ;)

Del

Lisa,

You need to have a word with your son, especially if he asked you this.

Hehe,

Roughly translated this is "Please can you suck my dick?"

Jay

Unless I am mistaken isnt that a backpack?  Could explain your lack of success Delboy!

Are you sure?

Babelfish says it's "You not very seuse my bete"

Google goes one better and says it's "You not very seuse my animal "

 :-* :-* :-*
Sorry Smokie - Jay has the correct translation - I am perhaps now regretting all that private tuition whilst he was educated in France - especially as he is now an official 'Max Power' type!

 :-*

Lisa

My personal favorite is

Je suis un camion rouge!

It worked well when I want to get rid of Photographer in a Restuant in Nice.

t.

"Puis-je payer un verre, ou voulez-vous juste l'argent?"
"Can I buy you a drink or would you just like the money?"

"Mon Dieu!...Apres quelque verres vous n'aviez pourtant pas l'air trop mal..."
"God, you looked better through beer goggles, though..."

"Je t'aime. Quand est-ce qu'on mange?"
"I love you. Where's my dinner?"

All stolen from: http://yoyo.its.monash.edu.au/~mongoose/french/

Au moins vous n'avez pas dit qu'elle demarre avec le foot! (at least you didn't say it begins with football.  Je preferre les hommes avec les ballons bizarres (I prefer men with funny-shaped balls.)

Just quickly!!

reminds me one day at school,  one of the class wags rolled a blue and green tennis ball from the back of the class room up to where our lady music teacher was standing.  It was that time of year when, one by one we would go to the front and sing solo in Latin, why, even to this day i don't know.

anyway, as the balls arrive at her feet, she asks the class, "OK, who's the joker with the coloured balls?"

"Sammy Davis Junior Miss"

Also I could never understand why we had mass whackings for the class either.  Ain't school funny 8)

singing in latin !!!!! :o :o
IMHO that is impressive

As Lisa says, Jay is right. But Babelfish and Google never had a chance. Lisa's son actually said "Est-ce que tu peux sucer ma bitte?"

I have my very own Babelfish, the missus is a fluent frenchie, she comes in quite handy down at La Sarthe, especially trying to find a supermarket that is open late. If you see anyone walking around Le Mans with Babelfish written on the back of her t-shirt that is probably her.

All the french I know was learnt from working in an access platform bucket all night in a shopping centre in Paris with a french operator. So w**k*r,(came in handy later in the bar), suck my ****, is about it. Although we always use to recommend ordering the beef curtains to the new lads on the team. Oh and i can order a beer of course and know the french word for hamster which is 'hamster'.

Oh and  couple of clangers.
Hearing the sister inlaw saying 'sufficient' in french (sant suffi I think) to the waiter, I filed it away to the ropey memory bank. I got some funny looks of the waiter whilst he was pouring my water and I kept saying ce soir (tonight)

Also trying to impress the missus with the big jar of rhubarb Bon Mamon jam I bought her back which turned out to be pie filling.

Might as well add some more pointless phrases:

sentez mon fromage - smell my cheese (Classis Alan Partridge)

vous avez les yeux? - You got the eyes? (If someone's staring at you)

ma mère est également ma soeur - my mother is also my sister

j'aime vos rideaux en boeuf - I love your beef curtains

j'ai oublié ma blaireau - I've forgotten my badger

My French builders are laughing their chaussettes off at some of this thread.  They are wondering where exactly we Brits are going to use this stuff. ???

Votre mere est un hamster, et ton pere a' l'odeur du sureaux

your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries

(I think. - online dictionary used, it could easily say my hovercraft is full of eels)

or drop your panties sir william I cannot wait until lunchtime

In France of course.  Don't they not know nufinck!!!

t

Ton mère a une maladie sociale.

Works well late at night in smokey bars when you've just spilt someone's pint.

[quote ]Don't they not know nufinck!!!

t
Well, perhaps, how to run a sports car race?

It aint gonna work on maison Blanche thats for sure.
your all off to LeMans are you not..mad dogs and english will do me..... better still mines another beir sil vous plate ;D

Well, perhaps, how to run a sports car race?
Hmm...  Well actualy it's a british motor race. it's just we hold it in France.   ;D ;D