Exotic rides!
I can offer a Testarossa, but I'm afraid the price you'll have to pay is a high one...
First of all, it's a visit from David Emanuel to whip up a nice airy bouffant number with some Wayfarers epoxied on to the summit. A lovely white lacy shirt with frilly cuffs and a neckchain knocked up to an old Isambard Kingdom Brunel specification held at Bristol Docks should finish off that cabriolet look. Any drinking will be limited to cocktails with at least two pounds of fruit in the glass and a mimimum of three sparklers. Personally, I also like the look of a few root vegetables in there, and maybe a set of teeth. I'm afraid your little finger on the right hand will also have to be broken, and reset at a jaunty angle. Maybe we should shift the eyebrows up a little while we're on. These, obviously, are the 'male' requirements, so we'll need to head below the waistline with no delay. It has to be leather. The less breathable the better. What we're after inside there is rainforest humidity, we want to see a good run-off from inside the legs at ankle level. Betty Swallocks Strides Ltd of Littlehampton do a nice little line in non-stretch, non-breathable, not quite dead figure huggers, the crotches are lined with live chickens. Salamander skin loafers should finish things off, their little eyes are just so cute.
After this, just getting in the car will be a f*cking nightmare never mind driving it, but once in you'll certainly cut a dash in MB. And maybe an artery if you're not careful.
That Commer is starting to look pretty good....
Roll on June!? there's no chance of that at the moment, I've only just got over the Saturday jackpot rollover. I can still scribble pictures on this pad though...
Matt, is the Jury still out on 'sustained heavy drinking'? Perhaps you're right, but more research is required, I'll investigate the 'intermittant light sipping' avenue. As usual these tests will have to be double-blind. Very double blind...
H
