Bloody hell, and there's Catherine Zeta Jones in the news, worrying about smelling like a brewery for days after conditioning her hair in beer and honey. You'll own a brewery of your own after your little conditioning jaunt then.....
Oh and while you're lying there on your back observing flies on the ceiling, draw upon the following RAF theorems:
Ceilings Landing On, Flies Observations On How do flies land on the ceiling? Pilot Officer Prune and Flying Officer Prang, whilst resting in the dispersal hut between Ops, undertook an Observational Research Project to establish quite how it was achieved. They were unable to agree and came to two different conclusions set out below, who if either was correct?
Theory 1. By Pilot Officer Prune
Pilot Officer Prune was of the opinion that the Fly with the throttle set at cruise flew along at the correct height below the ceiling, lowered its under cart, and performed a half loop landing off the top. Pilot Officer Spin disagreed as unless fitted with an altimeter working inversely from the ceiling down instead of from the ground up, the fly would be unlikely to be able to judge the correct radius to avoid nose diving into the ceiling a quarter of the way through the loop. Flying Officer Prang also disagreed as, once sufficient airspeed to effect a a good three pointer had been lost the fly would enter an upside down stall, go into an inverted nose dive and have to go around again. As a consequence, most flies ,especially the inexperienced, in order to achieve a safe landing would be required to fly a series of vertical circuits of gradually decreasing radius until a successful contact with the ceiling was achieved. Pilot Officer Noseover also disagreed as landing was in essence a controlled stall onto the ground and it was impossible to stall in an upwards direction. He also added that any landing off the top of a loop would be in the opposite direction to its line of flight adding a significant work load to the already difficult landing procedure.
Theory 2. By Flying Officer Prang
Flying Officer Prang was of the opinion that the fly flew along just below the ceiling, executed a half roll and lowered its under cart as it landed using its brakes (sticky feet) to end the landing run and prevent an inverted stall. Pilot Officer Prune disagreed as the strain on the under cart would be tremendous and in most cases would shear it off, causing an inverted crash landing. Wing Commander Flap also disagreed as, after one or two prangs, the fly would have no under cart left and would have to be relegated to the fly dump.
courtesy of Tee Emm 1942 MG Mark
