Stop! Halt!
I don't want to be a party pooper, but things do seem to have side tracked to the surreal a shade too far. If God had wanted Commers to go quicker, he'd have shown the GPO how to tune them.
Anyway, there is no known way to make a Commer go any faster than it actually feels it wants to. It's the only vehicle I have ever driven that genuinely gets "tired" on a long journey. If you stop and give it twenty minutes to get it's breath back, it roars off again, best foot forward. But half an hour later, it's once again knackered, wheezing and red in the face, even tho the temperature is constant. How can this be?
It's other human characteristic is that it, and it alone, decides whether to start or not. Sometimes you can scrape the ice off the window and start it up first touch. Other days, it will not even fire once even with liberal doses of Bradex Easy Start, which I would have thought was an impossiblility. A good yelling at and threats of violence, a la Basil Fawlty, normally shows it who's boss.
Any thoughts? My own theory is that it is haunted. I have reason to believe a previous owner committed suicide in it, which is why it was so cheap. There is also a nasty stain on the drivers seat cushion. You sometimes hear footsteps and terrible moaning noises in the night. And I was once woken by a cold hand stroking my face, even tho I was the only person in there! There are also the voices in the cooker that tell me to Kill! Kill! Kill!
Spooky!
