Andy, have you considered an alternative therapy for the Commers ailments?
I was browsing a workshop manual the other day by Jack 'Swarfega' Chopra that recommended a more non invasive approach.
Park the Commer facing East at dawn and start with a little light chanting. You will need to be dressed in saffron robes, and a large piece of quartz inserted as far up your a*se as you can bear without weeping, will help no end. It'll be handy to have close by a paraffin lamp, some rubber gloves and about half a litre of Karma.
Dust (I'm paraphrasing from the manual here) the transmission and steering rack with fairy crystals blessed by the great Mystic Wizard Merlin (you should find him at most Kwik-Fit outlets). A holistic approach should help with the holes in the sills. Mix about 5 grams of Exchange and Mart granules with about 2000L of distilled water, extract about 5g of this solution, and repeat. Stir this into a huge amount of Isopon with a Chakra stick and inject directly into the sill. Hum a little song, preferably by George Harrison. Install a few druids in the Commers Inner Space and leave them to summon up the God of Glastonbury.
Re-submit to your local MOT station, but don't speak. Hold your hands together in a praying pose and just nod and smile serenely to all his questions. Finally, remove the crystal from your backside before it does some real damage.
It worked with me.
H
