Wishy:
I don't blame you. To be honest, unless you end-up on the VERY low end of the economic scale buying beer in the US, you can't go wrong. Just avoid brands that sound like they could be slang for womens' front bottoms (e.g. Schlitz, Old Milwaukee and Red Stripe)... all being particularly filthy.
I flew into Talladega for the Diehard race one year. To my horror, my "friends" (Fax being one of them), who were arranging the booze purchase because they had driven motorhomes to the event, had purchased one brand of beer. Bud Light.
I can honestly say that if it hadn't been for the Wild Turkey, various Schapps and something that had to have been straight from a still, I would never have got pissed. I have the same problem with Coors Light - however, it does keep these powerful ab muscles prominent through my shirt (under my mantits).